Inner Personal Advice: October 2013

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I'm 39 years old a hairstylist, and I love to blog, read blogs, and learning new things! I do check who likes anything on my social media's if I am able(some don't give me the ability to view the likes) to and I will go check out your stuff as well :)

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Sunday, October 27, 2013

Relationships!

I've learned that you should NEVER force yourself to be with anyone you don't want to be with!

Some will try to force you to be in a relationship, with guilt trips.
Some will try to blackmail you into staying and try to trap you.
Threats are made at times too. Even death threats, those are the kinds you MUST get away from!
Some hate change so they try to make you stay, some just don't want to be alone. That's not love! That's overly selfish. 
Some accuse you of cheating, when you haven't been with anyone, haven't even seen anyone for that matter, aside from work or family. Don't let their SELFISH words make you stay!!!!

Yes you may feel bad about hurting them and their feelings, but you need to realize, you also have feelings! If you settle or stay where you feel you don't want to be, you suffer more then they do. Or you both suffer, these are parts of those hard choices which have to be made(in life), no questions asked, answered or doubts set aside.

Sometimes they will say they trust you, yet you can see in their actions that they don't, you can read in their words and or questions asked, that they don't. Don't ignore your own inner voice, when you feel they are not being honest, when they show differently then what they say!

Don't let their friends try to change your mind into staying either. Others will try to make you feel guilty for them as well, even if those people don't even know it. 

Is your unhappiness, less important then their fear of being alone or not giving them their way? Sometimes it's just that you said no that makes them want you to stay. Some people need to stop acting spoiled and take no for an answer. NO MEANS NO.

Even worse, if you do end up choosing to stay, you could end up hating yourself and being overly depressed, suicidal, or even cheating, because you're not happy, but forced to stay....where you don't want to be.

I had to break up with someone by writing them a letter because my voice wasn't being heard for the past couple weeks of stating 'it wasn't working' and I 'didn't want to be in any relationship.'

I told them in the letter, it wasn't working, I didn't want to be with anyone. I told them I wasn't happy, that it was obvious everyday. It was obvious I wasn't trusted, that I my words about leaving verbally wasn't getting through, that we weren't meant to be. That I wasn't in love, and it was obvious they didn't love me either. I didn't need them and they didn't need me! It said 'don't call and 'don't come to my house'. There was a bit more explanation and stuff, enough information stating why and such and such about not being in a relationship, etc.
They called(I didn't answer) and did come to my door. At which point I stated, it had only been 2 or 3 minutes of them reading the first bit. Obviously not enough time to have read the whole thing. Which stated to not do those things.

I knew from a previous relationship, I wasn't settling for what didn't make me feel happy, I felt alone in someone's company.  I was myself and they tried to change me. They got angry when I touched anything they owned, just looking. I left, I said why I left and why I wouldn't be in that situation again. I was set up with them, It's their mess to clean, not mine. . I thought I was giving someone a chance. Which wasn't easy at all for me, I had learned enough and left and OTHERS NEED TO LET IT BE AND LET IT REST IN THE PAST.  It's been over for years.

I felt mocked, treated like a dumba**, talked about behind my back, bragged about to their friends, complained about to their friends, I did a lot of shit for them, because I'm that kind of person and they complained about what little they did for me(as if I had done nothing at all for them).

NO I NEVER WANT THAT PERSON BACK, IT'S BEEN OVER SINCE THE DATE I STATED IT WAS OVER. THERE WAS NO AFTERWARDS.

My point here is DON'T stay no matter what they say or do. And most importantly, pay attention and use your common sense.