Relationships!

I've learned that you should NEVER force yourself to be with anyone you don't want to be with!

Some will try to force you to be in a relationship, with guilt trips.
Some will try to blackmail you into staying and try to trap you.
Threats are made at times too. Even death threats, those are the kinds you MUST get away from!
Some hate change so they try to make you stay, some just don't want to be alone. That's not love! That's overly selfish. 
Some accuse you of cheating, when you haven't been with anyone, haven't even seen anyone for that matter, aside from work or family. Don't let their SELFISH words make you stay!!!!

Yes you may feel bad about hurting them and their feelings, but you need to realize, you also have feelings! If you settle or stay where you feel you don't want to be, you suffer more then they do. Or you both suffer, these are parts of those hard choices which have to be made(in life), no questions asked, answered or doubts set aside.

Sometimes they will say they trust you, yet you can see in their actions that they don't, you can read in their words and or questions asked, that they don't. Don't ignore your own inner voice, when you feel they are not being honest, when they show differently then what they say!

Don't let their friends try to change your mind into staying either. Others will try to make you feel guilty for them as well, even if those people don't even know it. 

Is your unhappiness, less important then their fear of being alone or not giving them their way? Sometimes it's just that you said no that makes them want you to stay. Some people need to stop acting spoiled and take no for an answer. NO MEANS NO.

Even worse, if you do end up choosing to stay, you could end up hating yourself and being overly depressed, suicidal, or even cheating, because you're not happy, but forced to stay....where you don't want to be.

I had to break up with someone by writing them a letter because my voice wasn't being heard for the past couple weeks of stating 'it wasn't working' and I 'didn't want to be in any relationship.'

I told them in the letter, it wasn't working, I didn't want to be with anyone. I told them I wasn't happy, that it was obvious everyday. It was obvious I wasn't trusted, that I my words about leaving verbally wasn't getting through, that we weren't meant to be. That I wasn't in love, and it was obvious they didn't love me either. I didn't need them and they didn't need me! It said 'don't call and 'don't come to my house'. There was a bit more explanation and stuff, enough information stating why and such and such about not being in a relationship, etc.
They called(I didn't answer) and did come to my door. At which point I stated, it had only been 2 or 3 minutes of them reading the first bit. Obviously not enough time to have read the whole thing. Which stated to not do those things.

I knew from a previous relationship, I wasn't settling for what didn't make me feel happy, I felt alone in someone's company.  I was myself and they tried to change me. They got angry when I touched anything they owned, just looking. I left, I said why I left and why I wouldn't be in that situation again. I was set up with them, It's their mess to clean, not mine. . I thought I was giving someone a chance. Which wasn't easy at all for me, I had learned enough and left and OTHERS NEED TO LET IT BE AND LET IT REST IN THE PAST.  It's been over for years.

I felt mocked, treated like a dumba**, talked about behind my back, bragged about to their friends, complained about to their friends, I did a lot of shit for them, because I'm that kind of person and they complained about what little they did for me(as if I had done nothing at all for them).

NO I NEVER WANT THAT PERSON BACK, IT'S BEEN OVER SINCE THE DATE I STATED IT WAS OVER. THERE WAS NO AFTERWARDS.

My point here is DON'T stay no matter what they say or do. And most importantly, pay attention and use your common sense.

Everyone has a past...

Over the years I have heard others say "they have a past", this was referring to different people, so please do not think I am just saying that directed at one person.

Everyone has a past, and everyone makes mistakes. Whether it's a crime committed or a person(or persons) we hurt, there is always that label of having a past. If we think really hard on it, we'll realize that everyone has a past and we all make mistakes, if not for mistakes not one person in this world would have succeeded in anything in life. Some successful people started from the ground up with having done something "bad" or "wrong", but we all know that if we gave up if by making our first mistakes, who would we be and what have we of learned along the way?

Do babies fall when they first start to crawl? Do they give up after the first try? No! Do they stop trying to walk after taking their first steps after falling hard on their backsides? No! Have we given up after first trying to skate or ride a bike? No!

Just because some people make bad life decisions, doesn't mean we should give up on ourselves and or others. They were choices made, maybe out of poor judgement or because of simple peer pressure, either way it's mistakes. Some aren't bad choices, some are just bad timing. No one should give up, you have to have faith in yourself and your abilities!

Why do some people give up because of a few bad life choices? You didn't give up when you fell off your bike or some other thing you "learned from"!

Bad choices are made to teach us, we date someone and maybe they hurt us in a way we never thought we would allow ourselves to get hurt. Maybe we bought something before thinking about it before wasting the money on that item(s), or perhaps we stole something because our friends did or did something drastic because of a dare(Don't jump off of a bridge)?

Mistakes are a part of everyone's life, we all make them and if we didn't we would not have lived, we must learn somehow. With experience and by observing others we can learn a lot. Mistakes are like eating, sleeping, breathing and any other thing we must do in order to live! We must also remember though if we think before we do, it might make all the difference on how people view us. Sure they are going to say, "they have a past", but do they wonder what choices they've made? I'm not saying to go rob a bank or steal a car, I am saying, we all have done something in life we aren't proud of. Some make reckless decisions and some make good ones, but there are times when we all make one or more choices that we aren't proud of.

People make mistakes, that doesn't mean that they themselves are mistakes. No one is a mistake, even killers that haven't been caught aren't mistakes, they are just making bad choices. I am not condoning them, I'm just saying, if you haven't killed anyone, why beat yourself up because you did drugs for years or stole most of your life. So stop yourself if it makes you unhappy in doing those things!

Some people make harsh decisions because they feel their life depends on it, it feels like a need and they feel they don't have a choice. Maybe they don't want to think about those choices, everyone can change and lots of people change for the better, change is a part of life too.

We must choose to better our situation, if we want to change who we are, if we ourselves are making ourselves unhappy. It's not just about others and what they have to say, sure it hurts to hear it, but we can't change for anyone but ourselves. If you're unhappy with your choices, than change them choices, it's never too late...

Some inspirational images

Hello everyone

just posting some inspiration for you all to keep positive and keep your strength!

Have a great day everyone and I hope your weekend ahead is filled with happiness and peace!

This might interest you!

Saturdays sadness...Sorry being dramatic today.

Hello all,
I'm just going to vent today, sorry I'm seeming like a drama queen here.
I've been hurt in the past, sexually abused as a child(By family members no less), bullied at school as well by family members.
But I forgave, it's not easy to forget. I've put people out of my life, and I have stuck up for myself when I knew no one else would. I have spoke my mind to show I wouldn't back down to their hurt and lies.

But you know, it's not easy "pretending" like it doesn't hurt me. I may throw back words to defend myself, but it doesn't mean I'm not hurt...It's a defense mechanism, that has been strengthened over time.

In time, I only wish for my life to stay getting better and for happiness to find me safe and sound.
Blessings everyone.

AnnJ

"Tuesday's Rant!" ..About the different kinds of friendships out there....sad but true!

"Tuesday's Rant!"

Different kinds of friendships out there....sad but true!

I have had many types of friends come and go in my life, great ones I could do almost anything with, and some that you come to know as liars and cheats as well as those who will take from you and expect it to be okay. There are ones who will pretend to be your best friend and they will go behind your back and talk bad about you...Even though you've said nothing but nice things about them and done nice things for them. Two faced people are what I am referring to! 

Please don't get me wrong, sometimes we have a friend who will say your life story to others without realizing how damaging it is to you until they lose you as a friend and can't seem to understand why, and you're so upset with them that you can't tell them and just keep silent. These are good friends with hearts of gold, but at the same time, it's hard to trust what to say to them about your personal life. 

Than there's those friends you can do almost anything with (or anything if you're wild and free spirited :-D), you can trust they have your back if trouble seems to creep up uninvited! They'll pretend your their sister/brother to prove to someone else that you're never alone! You can drink shots and walk miles to get home without worrying they'll abandon you for some hot guy/chick! And best of all, on that long walk home, if you're too drunk to walk, they will let you lean on them! LOL

But than there are those two faced ones I was talking about, who will ask you about your personal life; just so they can tell others about it later, and possibly fabricate it and make it a whole lot more than what it was! 

Some people will become your friend, just so they can have something to gossip about, some will be your friends, in order to be come cool or popular because they don't know who they are. And some will simply be your friend so they can have someone they know who will always be there, because you have a big heart and wont turn away.

And sadly, some will be your friend because they know you have more than them and just try to take all you have from you! I have had friends who have had more than me, steal all I had in my purse! I have had friends jealous of me (for whatever reason I am not sure, still, even to this day), who will do and say things about me just to make others dislike me and not want to even give us a chance at getting to know each other! Some people can be so jealous, they will and do make up lies about you, just because they are jealous and they hate you for it and they want to ruin you! 

It's hard, but we must avoid some people...

"With friends like those, who need enemies?"

But as I said, don't get me wrong, there are some really awesome people to be friends with out there...And those types of friends, can become friends for life (or eternity)...

Monday Madness...Quotes to inspire you to help anger management!

Quotes to inspire you to help anger management!

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. 

–Buddha.

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. 

– Ralph Waldo Emerson.

 

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. 

– Seneca.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. 

– Will Rogers.

 

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. 

– Will Rogers.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. 

– Ambrose Bierce.

all quotes can be found HERE  or copy and paste this link to get there : http://compassionpower.com/angermanagementquotes.php

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

AnnJ

PS- Lets try to help and teach others to turn "Negatives into Positives!" for a better more peaceful future!

Bless you all 

Canada Day...And a few Inspirational life quotes!

~!!! *Canada Day* !!!~

 Inspirational life quotes!

:-D

Happy Canada Day everyone who is following from Canada!

Here are some Life Inspirational quotes!

Hello everyone!

I really am liking posting quotes between opinionated posts lately!

So here are a few quotes I'd like to share with you all today and I hope it helps someone if nor more than one person!

Dost thou love life?
Then do not squander time,
for that is the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller 

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.
Jawaharal Nehru

 

Life is like the dice that, falling, still show a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects.
Alexis

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently.
Palladas

I wish you all the best and my wish is for EVERYONE to have a wonderful week and glorious fun filled summer!

Blessings to all

AnnJ 

 

Sometimes we need to let go...

Sometimes we have people in our lives that we love very much. Even those who are family can be harmful to our health. And no matter how much we love them, if they keep on hurting us in different ways, we have to let them go there ways and we have to go ours.

I am choosing this topic, because I know how it feels to be hurt by those I love very dearly. For some of them, do not realize how much has been done for them and given to them out of the kindness of ones heart. Some of us would give the shirt off of our own backs, just so they do not stay cold, even when we are cold. I'm the kind of person, if someone does this for me...I am grateful and feel a little guilty knowing they are cold, but would do this for me to make me warm(I have had this done to me). I have done this for people I love, and was given ungrateful hurt feelings instead.  And than called selfish after saying no because I I didn't have it to give.

This is why I let some people go, I still love them, and miss them, but because I care for myself as well...I keep them at a distance, sadly I do not talk to or associate myself with these people anymore. I have given to others when I didn't have it to give, because I cared. And to have them not care back, or give me something, or help me in some way, for them to treat me as if I am the one who is ungrateful. 

Having those kinds of people who use you, manipulate you and offer kindness just to use it as a means to throw in your face, is just grief and sorrow to ones heart. It's heartbreak to have people you love "Build on to happiness, just to stomp on it afterwards." ...Why build something if you are going to destroy it? That is what sandcastles are for. 

"I refuse, to be used...anymore!"

There are so many things in history, that are still standing today, because of people's appreciation for them. Feelings should be treated this way, not as sandcastles, that will be destroyed by crashing waves or big feet.

Why must some people fight, to get along? I never quite understood that. I dislike fighting, and if I can avoid it, I do. I always stand up for what I believe in, so don't get me wrong, I just mean, I don't like unnecessary arguments, that only escalate to hurt feelings which end up with feelings of regret because words are spoken that we really did not mean...or who knows, maybe "they" mean them.?...

So much in life gets carried away, from fighting, from wars, from jealousy because they think someone's better than them or having more, or whatever. WHY? Why worry about those small things, when those small things create such huge destruction and or pain? It's exhausting, it's painful, it's even devastating and even sometimes lives are taken. There is just so much grief at times that we must TRY OUR BEST, to see things from a brighter side of things, where some of us open our eyes and actually have to force ourselves to be optimistic in order to cope, live and be happy. In order for our lives to get better and change because we are just tired of those ways.

I wish others would open their eyes and actually see that their life isn't as bad as it use to be and see that it is better and happier, but they are stuck on thoughts of yesterdays...

Sorry if this seems a bit off, but there are times I must share things in order for others to look ahead and to look up and see the brighter side of what IS THERE instead of seeing what was there!

Please put the past behind you, see NOW IS BETTER, and have peace and LET GO OF PAST GRIEVING'S! 

Love and beauty is in everything, and is everywhere, if you just let go of then and see now. Enjoy what is there and better these days, because the bad that was then is gone! 

Here are some motivational quotes...because I'm just feeling a bit unmotivated myself!

Hello everyone I am not feeling so motivated lately, so I thought I would make another quote post! Here are some great quotes I have found! Have a great day!

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.
Ayn Rand

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.

Ayn Rand

To achieve, you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that's real power.

Ayn Rand

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
William James

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.
Og Mandino

Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail.
John Donne

Follow Follow, and more Follows!

Alright, Hello everyone!
I just wanted post this so you all now what I have been doing all last-night before bed and today most of the day!
I have been obsessing with the follows! Now, I guess in the long run, it might be a good idea and get some traffic flowing around blog land!

So here it is, I have followed so many that I can't even count them, I have also been doing some twitter following as well.

I am hoping, over time, OR possibly soon (PLEASE OH PLEASE!) that I will have more views, friends and more experienced bloggers to step up and shout out if they see me stepping over boundaries or accidentally, bending some rules! I'm still a noob blogger...And not ashamed to admit it either!

I'm wishing with all my heart that I can help others in the near future, as well as hopefully get some help from others. I always help when I can, I offer a hand, give much of myself in order to help others...even though some might not appreciate it! I do it anyways, because that is just the kind of person I am.

So please if you are reading this and you have NOTICED that I have followed you PLEASE Follow me back! ***I really appreciate it!!!***

And there are some I couldn't follow because I could not find that little button to do so, so I apologize to those who have followed me and I have not followed back! I COULDN'T FIND THE BUTTON!

What else? Hmmm....If I remember I will come back and edit this post and add it!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend and wish you all well with happiness, love and good health!

AnnJ

Some of my tweets on Twitter! And some good old Quotes to finish the day off!

Ann M Jackson ‏@AnnJ78

Things you can change? Yourself, Your Life and Your situation! With the right mind sets you can do it all!

Ann M Jackson ‏@AnnJ78

Things worth fighting for? Your sanity, Your Children, Your Life and REAL LOVE! <3

Ann M Jackson ‏@AnnJ78 

Things worth waiting for? Finishing School, Love, Happiness, and life to be perfect!! 

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.
Henry David Thoreau

To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: "Leave no stone unturned."
Edward Bulwer Lytton

If you would create something,you must be something.
Johann Wolfgang von Goeth

Every artist was first an amateur. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.
Horace Bushnell

Life has no smooth road for any of us; and in the bracing atmosphere of a high aim the very roughness stimulates the climber to steadier steps, till the legend, over steep ways to the stars, fulfills itself.
W. C. Doane

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.
Benjamin Disraeli

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration?
George Eliot

  

Slacking off with my blogs lately, so here is an update!

I know I have been slacking off a bit with my blogs lately! Sorry for that!

Life has been keeping me quite busy and so has my mind. There have been some deep issues within my mind lately, concerning love (as you can probably tell) as well as being a mom.

My son has aspergers syndrome, so some days he can be a complete angel one day and a bit out of control the next. It can be quite exhausting at times, I have to admit. But I am also learning as I go...just to act like everything is fine, so he thinks his actions aren't bothering me. He knows how to push my buttons, that's for sure. But I am learning how to ignore those traits.

On to other things, I just wrote for my GED today! I am wishing for the best, and looking ahead positively, so that when I do get it...I'm on my way to bigger and better goals I have set for myself. I am writing more, because, I really am enjoying the writing I have been doing lately. Looking at my past writings, I do see much improvement. That is starting to give me more confidence and the future sure looks rewarding as well as promising!

I like to help others in ways, that I feel I can. So "This blogs for you!" hehe

Seriously though, I would like for others to post some feed back! 

What would you like to see me give my opinions about?
What type of advice do you feel you need right now in life?
Do you feel like you are trapped and life is getting harder by the day?
Are you sick of where life is right now and you just want a change for the better, so badly you feel desperate for that change?

Speaking from experience, I have had these feelings before. I did things to get passed those feelings. They can also come back once in a while to trigger that emotion, of having to do something to get out of that feeling!

There are many ways; that we all can conquer those demons fighting us within. The torturers of our beings.
You can do it, and you are NOT ALONE!

Everyone's story might be different, our backgrounds different, and even our actions and reactions are different! But we all have similar "feelings" those moments give us!

I'm not pin pointing anyone here, I'm sharing my advice.
I know how it feels to feel like your digging your own grave and it just keeps getting deeper.
I know how it feels to have lost everything!
I know how it feels to feel desperate for change, because of feeling so unhappy.
I know how it feels to not know where to turn!
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken so much by so many people you trusted and loved!
I know how lots of things feel!

Don't be afraid to share what you're going through! I don't care if you use your own name or an alias!

Hello and I hope Your week has been great so far! UPDATE

Hello everyone!
I just wanted to come here today to share an idea I have been wondering about. I am looking for others opinions or even a short little share of views on this idea!
What's the idea?
I'd like to start an advice column! Now I know I don't have any PHD's or anything, but I do feel I have great advice some days and as you can see, I share it! It doesn't always just stop there, when it is personally involved though! It is also a thing of advice and why I feel, how I feel, etc. I love helping people in this way, advice is free, you just have to send a message or comment (I will put a form in later on) I might create a different blog for it, but I do not think it would be necessary, since this is an advice blog anyways.

I'd like to know what you all think and I would love some advice, opinions, and your views on this idea I have been having. :-)

Of course, sometimes you will see a personal blog post, from time to time! But I'd really like to help you with your problems, if I can.

I welcome you to ask, comment or just say a few words of encouragement! Ask and or tell me anything and I will do my best to response in a respectful manner, without judgement towards you...I also don't mind if you use a fake name, or send a message as anonymous! This is an advice column after all, SO NO NAMES are needed.

Love...and my beliefs!

When it comes to a man loving a woman or the other way around. I believe they will change themselves, if that person really makes them happy and really feel worth the fight to help better themselves to make that person happy! Because it isn't just about making ourselves happy, it's about making someone else feel what we feel because we are happy in knowing we feel this way.

When we work hard, look happy, feel happy, than we must have found love somewhere. Be it in another person, or with ourselves...When that happens, our views change on life, we appreciate everything more! We are grateful for finding love, for the life we have, for the things we own and will own later in life, grateful for what others aren't so fortunate enough to have. We are just appreciative of life and everything within it. Everything seems a blessings, children seem a precious gift...as they are suppose to feel like.

Falling in love is not hard for some, yet very challenging for others. Perhaps those who find falling in love easy, only think that because they find it easy to like others. Maybe it isn't just about love for them? I find it hard to understand how someone can fall in love so quickly. For I find it very hard to do, but I don't find it hard to like someone. Love is a challenging emotion to express, it's not an easy subject to talk about for me. Yet, there are times when I say things, I question myself about and wonder if maybe, I am just confused about it all.

I don't like being in love, because it usually ends up being I am the one who gets hurt. So when someone says they are in love with me, I don't believe them. Usually because there are signs, they don't, that are there. This is why I don't let myself get too attached, and stay my distance. It might seem wrong or unhealthy to others, but it is a safety mechanism for me.

I don't want to fall in love, I don't want to be in love, yet I sometimes envy seeing others, in love. If that makes sense...I have always dreamed about, someone saying I was their everything. That they loved me so much that they would do anything for me, they fight for me, lie for me...I would never ask anyone to die for me..."Everything I do it for you - Byran Addams" that is a great song to express love. I HAVE DREAMED THAT! But I would love to live that. Yet I say all the time I do not want to fall in love and I don't want to be in love. Because Honestly...Love hurts.

I am rambling...Sorry about that. I just thought I would share one of my views and beliefs of love. Maybe it's because, I haven't had someone propose, nor actually say they love me and mean it. Besides a family member or my child. I often wonder if I am worthy of being loved, yet I know I am. Am I worth the fight?

If I felt like I had be in competition with someone else, I'd drop out of the race, because if I was truly loved, that person wouldn't expect that of me...you know because they'd love me back. I wont fight if they love someone else and spend more time with that person. In that sense, I'd feel I'd already lost. So it isn't worth fighting for if I don't feel I am even on the list. It's a pointless fight in a paper bag if you'd asked me.

Does she love you back? How about showing her!!

Relationships...A personal look.

I have been looking at my personal experiences lately, on relationship woes. Now I don't say woes because it's been many relationships and they all were bad. No! I am saying, I have a hard time being open in them, and also that I had a long unhappy relationship that taught me many things. No I haven't had many to be honest, and no I haven't experienced many sexual relationships. I did however learn a great deal about people and their ways.

I like to put myself.."in a sense" in other peoples shoes, in order to try to see things from many angles, of life in general in, order to best understand others better. And this is why I don't like to judge others. I do however state things that may sound like I am judging them, but please put this thought out of your mind as I am just showing different facts and points of view. It might seem like mind reading in a way. But by all means, please only see it as observation and knowing how to read between the lines.

Now on to the issues and facts at hand. I want all to know this isn't me putting anyone down...It's just showing what I know intuitively and stating them textually for all to see.

#1- I have huge trust issues! HUGE! The further info, comes to play on my WHY's I do have such huge trust issues...and this is just from a non-family relationship view.

#2- I tend to sense that they want to change me, this causes me to feel a bit standoff-ish and a little resentful to that person or myself.
Let me go a bit into detail with this one with some personal experience, without names involved and just simply "experience".

I was seeing someone for a short time, things were okay. I am always shy, and keep myself emotionally at a distance for my own protection! Gradually we got to know a little bit about each other, with me as usual keeping what is needed to myself...Yet at the same time letting myself show.

My problem..They would compliment me all the time, which was very annoying to me, as well as showing me they might have only one thing in mind.. It's something I don't expect and not something I like. Sure I like compliments, but after a while of holding myself back...These compliments only seemed like a way of them trying to smooth talk their way into getting what they wanted from me. You see I hold out. I don't have sex with anyone, and I am holding off until I know the person wants me for me.

The many compliments also came with, "you should do your make-up", and "you should put streaks in your hair", or "you should..whatever." .."Change yourself to please me" is what I hear after these ....See what I mean now? Huge problem! I wont change for anyone!

They also commented on how "this body part is so much different from this ex or that ex...*STOP SIGN* ..I'm thinking "WHAT?" .."No you didn't!" ...So you see another HUGE PROBLEM there.

#3- Sex...I have to be there in order to want it, I am not like other females. I hold off until I know they want me for me. Sure I played, I kissed. That is as far as I go, I wont put out if you state very clearly with all your compliments that it really isn't "me" you want, it is actually just what my body can pleasurably offer you. NO THANKS!

Am I too judgmental on that? Whether you say yes or no, wont matter either way, BECAUSE...I don't feel I am.

They play video games ALL THE TIME! I hate games, I don't play games, furthermore...I don't like feeling like I should feel like competition to a silly game system. I experienced that already with my son's father, I don't need it from someone I don't really care that much for. I liked them, but I never loved them, they told me they loved me..Yet I called them at work ONCE and they sounded irritated. And they called me from their work many times, Yet when I wasn't there to answer the call...ONCE, they sounded irritated. That to me indicates Possessiveness! I have been there, done that before...Not going to need to experience that again! Lived it, learned it...Next!

#4- I wait for no man who seems to show any of these signs stated above! If someone shows me (whether they know, they are or not!) that they want to change me, make me one of their possessions, and or a pleasure tool, I wont be sticking around to have it accomplished like some dumb-a** girl who is lonely probably would. I don't get lonely in that sense, I don't need a man to fill some void of loneliness...As I stated above I am VERY DIFFERENT! 

I only change for myself. I will never change for anyone as I don't feel anyone else should. We can only be ourselves and change for ourselves. I love constructive criticism, but I will not be criticized in an insulting manner!

#5- Testing their feelings towards me...I am so bad for this! You see I am so bad for this one, and since I am female, I have to admit, I can be a tease sometimes. But I only tease in order to learn more. I don't do it to hold someone, I don't do it for some hidden motives..unless you see it as such lol because I am sure you probably could judging on how it seems. I pretended like I wanted to change them and that they shouldn't or should do this to make me happy.

But I really do not want to change anyone, I just test them to see their reaction. If I like or love someone, them being themselves is all I want! If they have bad habits I will suggest maybe changing that part of themselves, for themselves...but not for me...We can only change for ourselves, so depending on the situation, stating something should change is a simple suggestion and or a critical judgement or wanting them to change for me.

I wouldn't put out, and after being in the relationship kind of thing. After some playing around. I told them to get "protection"...They seemed excited...You know I had planned on breaking it off before this point came to it's face. But I stuck it out, just to test my instincts and prove them right.

They didn't have money when I suggested getting protection, furthermore they asked me in a funny tone if I was serious about them buying some. ...Not if I was serious about putting out...Serious about the fact that they had wear protection. ..So another sign shows it's ugly face, you following me yet? On another note I'd like to add when I had stated my feelings on these things, this person acted as if I didn't know what I was talking about...hence showing another sign that I was right in my gut feelings.

All signs are right there in the open, I was asked out purely for my looks, not for who I was as a person. But for what I had as a female. If you're a teen reading this right now, please if you do not want to get hurt...Hold out for the right guy...Most guys will show most if not all of these "player" signs. And just because they would be willing to be with you a long time and for a long term relationship, doesn't mean these types of guys wont cheat and try it on the nest girl or your best friend(maybe that's another topic for the future).. They pretend to be all shy...Yet you see them act differently, towards others, you know, they know.

There were violent moments of jealously shown as well, that I OBSERVED. But I wont post them here. As this is just for others "to learn that to observe is to also absorb" and learn from!

Being in love with and thinking of someone else didn't help the situation either!!!
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I wanted to share these experiences, in hopes that other people having these things happen and see them for what they are can learn from my advice and explanation of how a person can behave and how you should see the signs before it's too late to get away!

I am all for helping anyone get out of a dangerous situation if I can help it!
Now don't get me wrong, I know there are great men out there, I just felt the need to state some facts because of people in my life not seeing the full picture for what it is...I wont settle and I wont be with someone to please someone else.

Two new topics of discussion, judging a book by it's cover...and holding onto unhappy relationships

Two new topics of discussion: Some advice and some personal experience.

First topic of judging a book by it's cover...

It's hard to judge someone by a first impressions, some people are shy, some people have a hard time with words...I have seen me meet someone for the first time and think they were not the type I'd hang out with or have in common...but as time went on I learned a little more and realized First impressions AREN'T always that important! 

The biggest meanest looking person, could end up being the sweetest person you could ever meet! So when I hear that first impressions mean everything...I don't agree, because it really all depends. Some people could have had a bad day and you met them afterwards and found they made you feel a bit uneasy, but seen them again later in the week and they were so much different than you had initially thought. 

"It's a two sided coin YOU CAN'T DEPEND ON!" Don't base your choices on a small shiny little round piece of metal. Listen to your heart, for the most part...Always listen to that first initial feeling, it just might save a life.

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Second topic LONELINESS and holding onto unhappy relationships...

I heard these high school students talking the other day,  They didn't look very old so I am going to assume they were in their second year. One of the girls was talking about how she was holding on to an ex that she didn't really care for anymore...But she was holding on to him because she didn't want to be alone, she also stated they didn't make her happy.

This got me thinking..what a great topic to discuss on my blog. I mean, I have opinions, but I minded my own business and didn't listen anymore.

Some people hold onto unhappy relationships because they don't want to be alone! Be Happy...No matter who you're with, it needs to be with who makes you happy...why hold on to something that doesn't make you happy? (I'm not saying this for personal reasons) If you can't be happy with someone, should you hold on to them? In the long run, I don't think either person would be happy and could lose the chance for real happiness!

Time and again this happens all over, there is just something that makes them hold on. I've been guilty of this, I will admit, but I also know that I am not the only one! My reason is different from the next and so is the next different for the next after that. Either way we hold on to someone because we don't want to be miserable and lonely. 

The reason why I said my reason is different is, I stayed with someone a very long time and had very little moments of happiness. I stayed mainly for the reason I didn't know anything else, I wasn't afraid of loneliness. I was with someone from the time I was 17 until I was about 29! I hadn't know anything about living without them on living on my own. That's a long time and at a very young age to begin a long relationship. I honestly didn't know anything else. 

Que the song "Landslide by Stevie Nicks" ;). That song ALWAYS reminds me of that relationship and how far I have come since leaving...I am better off and don't regret leaving. It made a lot of people unhappy with my choice, but also made others look up to me for it, because I have been a single mom for 4 years now. It's not easy, but I am doing it! It gets easier because of personal adjustments to the change through time.

Sure I miss having someone I can hold, in that special way, but I didn't have much of that with them either. The love in that relationship had died...it had been years since I had a real passionate kiss. This coming from a person who doesn't like to show too much affection. lol

So why stay if you're unhappy? If it's not working for a month or even years, is it worth fighting for, if you feel like your the only one who cares that it's an unhappy situation? One sided relationships aren't worth the fight in my opinion!

I think the girl should have just let go of the guy she was holding onto, because of the fear of being alone. Being alone isn't that bad, we can all adjust. Even when it hurts, we just need our closest friends there for encouragement and support! Our true friends are always there when they are needed, and the ones who aren't wont be.

This book might interest you!

Well have a great day everyone!

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What's your thoughts?

About advice!...

Lately I have been a bit down, maybe it's because spring has sprung, but winter keeps peeking in on us and throwing some snow and hail or whatever cold that just must come...It's depressing, it's spring and I love Spring! I do love all the seasons in their own way, but I also get tired of them if they have worn out their welcome..mainly winter of course ;)

So I guess I am blogging because I wanted to say, lately I haven't been feeling very opinionated enough to post! I don't feel those advice juices flowing, like I did when I first created this blog.

I am working on sites and keeping busy with that, as mentioned before!

I have another blog I have been working on as well...And a private one for personal ranting lol...And that's all been keeping me quite busy. It's been taking most, if not all, of my me time...Which I don't mind so much, because it is a nice distraction from having the winter blues vs the spring time embrace, mixed all into one. It's like a roller-coaster of seasonal war or something at times...One day it is beautiful spring and the next day could be the same or freezing cold and getting sick with pneumonia, watching a snow storm. I am sure the birds must be utterly confused.

I've just been lost for words when it comes to writing an advice blog lately...I apologize for the lack of postings that could have been existent!

On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful week!
Blessings to all and have a great night!

Stressin' To impress (personal advice)

I learned a long time ago that if you spread yourself too thin in the beginning that later on you run out of things to do in order to impress that one you tried too hard to impress later! You will become tired, wasted, maybe even feel worthless!

Why do people do that? They waste time in the beginning, bending over back-words in order to impress someone they like, or want in a relationship!

Happy Mothers day!

I am having a good mothers day weekend! My mom came to visit and stay with me for the week end! This may seem regular for others, but for me it is a gift! Because My mother and I haven't been really close for years. I moved in with my father after I turned twelve, and well we kind of fell apart! I have always loved my mother and so this was a bit hard on both of us over the years.