Inner Personal Advice: Two new topics of discussion, judging a book by it's cover...and holding onto unhappy relationships

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I'm 39 years old a hairstylist, and I love to blog, read blogs, and learning new things! I do check who likes anything on my social media's if I am able(some don't give me the ability to view the likes) to and I will go check out your stuff as well :)


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Two new topics of discussion, judging a book by it's cover...and holding onto unhappy relationships

Two new topics of discussion: Some advice and some personal experience.

First topic of judging a book by it's cover...

It's hard to judge someone by a first impressions, some people are shy, some people have a hard time with words...I have seen me meet someone for the first time and think they were not the type I'd hang out with or have in common...but as time went on I learned a little more and realized First impressions AREN'T always that important! 

The biggest meanest looking person, could end up being the sweetest person you could ever meet! So when I hear that first impressions mean everything...I don't agree, because it really all depends. Some people could have had a bad day and you met them afterwards and found they made you feel a bit uneasy, but seen them again later in the week and they were so much different than you had initially thought. 

"It's a two sided coin YOU CAN'T DEPEND ON!" Don't base your choices on a small shiny little round piece of metal. Listen to your heart, for the most part...Always listen to that first initial feeling, it just might save a life.

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Second topic LONELINESS and holding onto unhappy relationships...

I heard these high school students talking the other day,  They didn't look very old so I am going to assume they were in their second year. One of the girls was talking about how she was holding on to an ex that she didn't really care for anymore...But she was holding on to him because she didn't want to be alone, she also stated they didn't make her happy.

This got me thinking..what a great topic to discuss on my blog. I mean, I have opinions, but I minded my own business and didn't listen anymore.

Some people hold onto unhappy relationships because they don't want to be alone! Be Happy...No matter who you're with, it needs to be with who makes you happy...why hold on to something that doesn't make you happy? (I'm not saying this for personal reasons) If you can't be happy with someone, should you hold on to them? In the long run, I don't think either person would be happy and could lose the chance for real happiness!

Time and again this happens all over, there is just something that makes them hold on. I've been guilty of this, I will admit, but I also know that I am not the only one! My reason is different from the next and so is the next different for the next after that. Either way we hold on to someone because we don't want to be miserable and lonely. 

The reason why I said my reason is different is, I stayed with someone a very long time and had very little moments of happiness. I stayed mainly for the reason I didn't know anything else, I wasn't afraid of loneliness. I was with someone from the time I was 17 until I was about 29! I hadn't know anything about living without them on living on my own. That's a long time and at a very young age to begin a long relationship. I honestly didn't know anything else. 

Que the song "Landslide by Stevie Nicks" ;). That song ALWAYS reminds me of that relationship and how far I have come since leaving...I am better off and don't regret leaving. It made a lot of people unhappy with my choice, but also made others look up to me for it, because I have been a single mom for 4 years now. It's not easy, but I am doing it! It gets easier because of personal adjustments to the change through time.

Sure I miss having someone I can hold, in that special way, but I didn't have much of that with them either. The love in that relationship had had been years since I had a real passionate kiss. This coming from a person who doesn't like to show too much affection. lol
So why stay if you're unhappy? If it's not working for a month or even years, is it worth fighting for, if you feel like your the only one who cares that it's an unhappy situation? One sided relationships aren't worth the fight in my opinion!

I think the girl should have just let go of the guy she was holding onto, because of the fear of being alone. Being alone isn't that bad, we can all adjust. Even when it hurts, we just need our closest friends there for encouragement and support! Our true friends are always there when they are needed, and the ones who aren't wont be.
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Well have a great day everyone!
What's your thoughts?
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  1. I have certainly done a bit out of both subjects. It happened to judge people by appearance and then to be slapped in the face (not literally) by those people kindness and their beautiful soul.
    As for the relationship loneliness...well...I am thrilled it's over even though it took me 8 years to end it. Loneliness can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts, at least for me it did.

    1. Thanks so much for commenting Petro, I completely understand. I figured there are lots of people all over the world who have experienced similar things and I felt the need to voice an share my thoughts. I want thank you again for commenting and sharing!
      I too have been guilty of judging some by their first impressions and well it showed me that when we do that we find out the hard way...with guilt or otherwise..That we can be very wrong about someone in doing that.
      Loneliness can harm many people with depression, from breakups or just an end of any relationships that can mean so much to us. And yes, sadly suicidal thoughts happen to many. Hopefully though, over coming and letting it strengthen us instead of committing is the reaction! We sometimes need someone there when it gets that bad.
      Thanks again Petro, I appreciate the comment and sharing, it means a lot!


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