Many years had gone by and I almost feel I had forgotten about her. This hurt me to realize this, I started to feel ashamed of myself because of it.
Now, I am trying so hard to get back in touch so she can be a part of my son's life because my father passed away and didn't really get to know my child much either, I don't want this to happen for my mother. I am still hurt by it bothering me about my father. I do not want to feel the guilt of my son not getting to know his other grandmother (my mom).
I neglected myself, my parents, friends and other family members. And all this because I was young and foolish to let all this important stuff go because I had a boyfriend who...in his own way controlled me. Not in a way most have been through, he did it in a way that it was hard for people to say it was controlling. He would tell me he was afraid if I went out for a walk with our than baby that he was afraid we would get kidnapped...or if I went anywhere I had to go by myself if he said he was not going he refused me to take my child..for the same reason, he made everything sound fearful when I knew he wrong! Not everything we do is fearful. He just wanted to control everything. Everything. :-(
Anyways I have since left him, got my own place and got custody of my child. And the only fear I had was him making me look bad so to take my child from me. I walked miles to get my child back when he took him and kept him for almost 2months exactly. I'd do that again if I had to, for people I love. But my child always comes first, even before myself.
So today was a good day. All but the weather of course. And memories, and I got some pictures of my mom reading my son (her only grandchild) a bedtime story! :-)
This is for those who have fallen away and feel bad, reach out and find them! MOST mothers do care and love their children. (((hugs))
PS-And for a friend who might be reading, Thanks!
