Inner Personal Advice: Denial...Just some thoughts

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I'm 39 years old a hairstylist, and I love to blog, read blogs, and learning new things! I do check who likes anything on my social media's if I am able(some don't give me the ability to view the likes) to and I will go check out your stuff as well :)


Monday, June 21, 2010

Denial...Just some thoughts

Please do not correct me if I am wrong here, as these are just personal thoughts and or analogies!
I have been thinking of those I have known to have gone through denial. Now I know I have gone through it, and I know others who are still going through it.
Most are because of a loss of someone they love or loved, loss of a relationship, poor self judgement on choices(also know as mistakes.) and well I guess the list goes on. 
Denial is bad for you no matter what causes it, I have seen people get so lost from it. To a point that they live in a fantasy world and only say it as they want it to be like a different reality. This can not be good for the mental state. I mean if someone has died, you must allow yourself to grieve. Stop telling yourself they are coming back. It ain't happening. Life ends, that is how it has to be. Do you know how little room the earth would have if no one died?
Another thing about life and death... Love/hate and feelings. If we did not die, then we would have no need to grieve, but grieving is a feeling and that feeling can be tied with love/hate/rage etc. Some die because of murder, some die from illness, some die from old age. Everyone of those has feelings. Weather it is love or hate, rage or pain. They all are feelings/senses, without those what is life but an empty box of robots. Everyone must feel, everyone must die, and everyone must grieve. If everyone never died we would have to move some to other planets and soon those planets would get over populated. So you see everyone must die for other to be born. I am not saying people should kill, but that is sometimes caused by accidental rage or a murderer needs to fulfill his/her need...Whatever they have as a need in which to kill another human being I have no answer for. Either way weather they realize it or not a death happens and people grieve. Do not deny someone has died, it is not good emotionally or mentally.
I cried and grieved a lot before my dad died, so people probably thought I was going to go nuts because I never cried much after he actually did die. But I cry alone and in private so no one sees me cry anyways. We all knew he was going to, I cried a lot before we lost him. I still cry. I cry most when I wish I could have a conversation with him, I felt he gave me good advice because he lived life too his fullest, he had fun. He loved his children and did what he could. He wasn't perfect, he cheated on my mother many times before and after I was born. I am sure he has done way more than he told his children he did. I had a lot of respect for my father. He was all I had in my life that actually did what he could to show me he loved me.
I am not in denial that he is dead, but I think I know a few people who are. I know a few people in denial that others have died as well. GRIEVE I say.
I am in denial because I felt someone I fell in love with actually loved me, I was wrong and now I am trying very hard to get over it. I still fool myself sometimes and cry and it hurts like hell but that is life, it gives and takes.
Life is all about the negatives and positives. Everything must balance in life or life is nothing but a mess on either side of the tracts. People must be born and people must die. There was something else I was going to put here but it slipped my mind, so I guess that is my thoughts.