Hello and I hope Your week has been great so far! UPDATE

Hello everyone!
I just wanted to come here today to share an idea I have been wondering about. I am looking for others opinions or even a short little share of views on this idea!
What's the idea?
I'd like to start an advice column! Now I know I don't have any PHD's or anything, but I do feel I have great advice some days and as you can see, I share it! It doesn't always just stop there, when it is personally involved though! It is also a thing of advice and why I feel, how I feel, etc. I love helping people in this way, advice is free, you just have to send a message or comment (I will put a form in later on) I might create a different blog for it, but I do not think it would be necessary, since this is an advice blog anyways.

I'd like to know what you all think and I would love some advice, opinions, and your views on this idea I have been having. :-)

Of course, sometimes you will see a personal blog post, from time to time! But I'd really like to help you with your problems, if I can.

I welcome you to ask, comment or just say a few words of encouragement! Ask and or tell me anything and I will do my best to response in a respectful manner, without judgement towards you...I also don't mind if you use a fake name, or send a message as anonymous! This is an advice column after all, SO NO NAMES are needed.

Relationships...A personal look.

I have been looking at my personal experiences lately, on relationship woes. Now I don't say woes because it's been many relationships and they all were bad. No! I am saying, I have a hard time being open in them, and also that I had a long unhappy relationship that taught me many things. No I haven't had many to be honest, and no I haven't experienced many sexual relationships. I did however learn a great deal about people and their ways.

I like to put myself.."in a sense" in other peoples shoes, in order to try to see things from many angles, of life in general in, order to best understand others better. And this is why I don't like to judge others. I do however state things that may sound like I am judging them, but please put this thought out of your mind as I am just showing different facts and points of view. It might seem like mind reading in a way. But by all means, please only see it as observation and knowing how to read between the lines.

Now on to the issues and facts at hand. I want all to know this isn't me putting anyone down...It's just showing what I know intuitively and stating them textually for all to see.

#1- I have huge trust issues! HUGE! The further info, comes to play on my WHY's I do have such huge trust issues...and this is just from a non-family relationship view.

#2- I tend to sense that they want to change me, this causes me to feel a bit standoff-ish and a little resentful to that person or myself.
Let me go a bit into detail with this one with some personal experience, without names involved and just simply "experience".

I was seeing someone for a short time, things were okay. I am always shy, and keep myself emotionally at a distance for my own protection! Gradually we got to know a little bit about each other, with me as usual keeping what is needed to myself...Yet at the same time letting myself show.

My problem..They would compliment me all the time, which was very annoying to me, as well as showing me they might have only one thing in mind.. It's something I don't expect and not something I like. Sure I like compliments, but after a while of holding myself back...These compliments only seemed like a way of them trying to smooth talk their way into getting what they wanted from me. You see I hold out. I don't have sex with anyone, and I am holding off until I know the person wants me for me.

The many compliments also came with, "you should do your make-up", and "you should put streaks in your hair", or "you should..whatever." .."Change yourself to please me" is what I hear after these ....See what I mean now? Huge problem! I wont change for anyone!

They also commented on how "this body part is so much different from this ex or that ex...*STOP SIGN* ..I'm thinking "WHAT?" .."No you didn't!" ...So you see another HUGE PROBLEM there.

#3- Sex...I have to be there in order to want it, I am not like other females. I hold off until I know they want me for me. Sure I played, I kissed. That is as far as I go, I wont put out if you state very clearly with all your compliments that it really isn't "me" you want, it is actually just what my body can pleasurably offer you. NO THANKS!

Am I too judgmental on that? Whether you say yes or no, wont matter either way, BECAUSE...I don't feel I am.

They play video games ALL THE TIME! I hate games, I don't play games, furthermore...I don't like feeling like I should feel like competition to a silly game system. I experienced that already with my son's father, I don't need it from someone I don't really care that much for. I liked them, but I never loved them, they told me they loved me..Yet I called them at work ONCE and they sounded irritated. And they called me from their work many times, Yet when I wasn't there to answer the call...ONCE, they sounded irritated. That to me indicates Possessiveness! I have been there, done that before...Not going to need to experience that again! Lived it, learned it...Next!

#4- I wait for no man who seems to show any of these signs stated above! If someone shows me (whether they know, they are or not!) that they want to change me, make me one of their possessions, and or a pleasure tool, I wont be sticking around to have it accomplished like some dumb-a** girl who is lonely probably would. I don't get lonely in that sense, I don't need a man to fill some void of loneliness...As I stated above I am VERY DIFFERENT! 

I only change for myself. I will never change for anyone as I don't feel anyone else should. We can only be ourselves and change for ourselves. I love constructive criticism, but I will not be criticized in an insulting manner!

#5- Testing their feelings towards me...I am so bad for this! You see I am so bad for this one, and since I am female, I have to admit, I can be a tease sometimes. But I only tease in order to learn more. I don't do it to hold someone, I don't do it for some hidden motives..unless you see it as such lol because I am sure you probably could judging on how it seems. I pretended like I wanted to change them and that they shouldn't or should do this to make me happy.

But I really do not want to change anyone, I just test them to see their reaction. If I like or love someone, them being themselves is all I want! If they have bad habits I will suggest maybe changing that part of themselves, for themselves...but not for me...We can only change for ourselves, so depending on the situation, stating something should change is a simple suggestion and or a critical judgement or wanting them to change for me.

I wouldn't put out, and after being in the relationship kind of thing. After some playing around. I told them to get "protection"...They seemed excited...You know I had planned on breaking it off before this point came to it's face. But I stuck it out, just to test my instincts and prove them right.

They didn't have money when I suggested getting protection, furthermore they asked me in a funny tone if I was serious about them buying some. ...Not if I was serious about putting out...Serious about the fact that they had wear protection. ..So another sign shows it's ugly face, you following me yet? On another note I'd like to add when I had stated my feelings on these things, this person acted as if I didn't know what I was talking about...hence showing another sign that I was right in my gut feelings.

All signs are right there in the open, I was asked out purely for my looks, not for who I was as a person. But for what I had as a female. If you're a teen reading this right now, please if you do not want to get hurt...Hold out for the right guy...Most guys will show most if not all of these "player" signs. And just because they would be willing to be with you a long time and for a long term relationship, doesn't mean these types of guys wont cheat and try it on the nest girl or your best friend(maybe that's another topic for the future).. They pretend to be all shy...Yet you see them act differently, towards others, you know, they know.

There were violent moments of jealously shown as well, that I OBSERVED. But I wont post them here. As this is just for others "to learn that to observe is to also absorb" and learn from!

Being in love with and thinking of someone else didn't help the situation either!!!
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I wanted to share these experiences, in hopes that other people having these things happen and see them for what they are can learn from my advice and explanation of how a person can behave and how you should see the signs before it's too late to get away!

I am all for helping anyone get out of a dangerous situation if I can help it!
Now don't get me wrong, I know there are great men out there, I just felt the need to state some facts because of people in my life not seeing the full picture for what it is...I wont settle and I wont be with someone to please someone else.

Taking our own advice!!

I just wanted to share a bit of information about my thoughts on advice! I have been told many times, that I am very wise for my age and that I usually give great advice...I like to think so, but I also know that I am not always so good at taking my own advice. Isn't it funny we are all like that I think, we are always good at giving speeches and advice, but tend to not follow such great advice ourselves.

Don't get me wrong here, I know we can be very good at taking our own advice, but there are times when people tell us, "Practice what you preach!" ...I am sure you have heard that phrase, I have heard it, have had it said to me and I have said it to others over the years.

For years I have given my opinion (aka advice), and have had some people actually take it in consideration and have had even some of them actually go with it and do great for themselves! I have been called a life saver, an old soul and I have also been called intelligent! I must admit, they can be ego boosters, but I like to tell people to try to be in charge of that ego before if gets away with ya!

I'd like to talk about the ego for a moment...

Ego is great, BUT it's also dangerous...What I mean is that, our ego gives us confidence, but with too much confidence...Yes I said too much confidence, there is such a thing believe me! People with too much confidence can get themselves into loads of trouble! 

Look at Criminals... some of them get away with so much and don't even care about the consequences...Some of them don't even have a conscious I don't think. I am not insulting the criminals, I am just stating that I think they listen to their ego too much(too much confidence) and get into trouble.

I have noticed if my ego get too big I get smart, yet do dumb things and that is what I mean about ego. People can compliment us too much and make our ego's expand like a balloon and in doing so we end up not seeing beyond that big balloon others so kindly filled up for us.

That's about all I have to say today, at least I actually was feeling up to the posting, I like that!

Update!

I know I am late on posting a new blog, as I said a couple weeks ago I would post a new one! However, I have a few sites I have been working on, and one of them has more than 10 pages! I have been very busy updating webpages and fixing broken links, as well as adding a few surprises :)

So I thought since I had a spare moment from doing that, from being sick as well as being a mom and going to school half days everyday of the week. I have been a bit busy. So now I am finally posting...Just as an update, and to apologize for not posting anytime sooner!

Have a great week!

PS-I shall return once I have things fixed and updated to my liking!

Some more thoughts! Subject: Mothers instincts

Well Mothers instincts...Personally I feel that all mothers have it. Weather they follow is it, doubt it or simply ignore it is the difference on being a good mom. Don't get me wrong, men have the instinct too! I have seen it with my own eyes and that is how I know they do! ;)
Anyways I do not want to get off the topic I am starting lol.