Wordless Wednesday...Lets motivate!

Sorry I missed Monday's motivationals, here is some images with quotes I hope makes up for it!

Have a great day!
As always, believe in yourself and when you don't want to do something you need to do, push yourself!
Ann

Saturdays sadness...Sorry being dramatic today.

Hello all,
I'm just going to vent today, sorry I'm seeming like a drama queen here.
I've been hurt in the past, sexually abused as a child(By family members no less), bullied at school as well by family members.
But I forgave, it's not easy to forget. I've put people out of my life, and I have stuck up for myself when I knew no one else would. I have spoke my mind to show I wouldn't back down to their hurt and lies.

But you know, it's not easy "pretending" like it doesn't hurt me. I may throw back words to defend myself, but it doesn't mean I'm not hurt...It's a defense mechanism, that has been strengthened over time.

In time, I only wish for my life to stay getting better and for happiness to find me safe and sound.
Blessings everyone.

AnnJ

Follow Follow, and more Follows!

Alright, Hello everyone!
I just wanted post this so you all now what I have been doing all last-night before bed and today most of the day!
I have been obsessing with the follows! Now, I guess in the long run, it might be a good idea and get some traffic flowing around blog land!

So here it is, I have followed so many that I can't even count them, I have also been doing some twitter following as well.

I am hoping, over time, OR possibly soon (PLEASE OH PLEASE!) that I will have more views, friends and more experienced bloggers to step up and shout out if they see me stepping over boundaries or accidentally, bending some rules! I'm still a noob blogger...And not ashamed to admit it either!

I'm wishing with all my heart that I can help others in the near future, as well as hopefully get some help from others. I always help when I can, I offer a hand, give much of myself in order to help others...even though some might not appreciate it! I do it anyways, because that is just the kind of person I am.

So please if you are reading this and you have NOTICED that I have followed you PLEASE Follow me back! ***I really appreciate it!!!***

And there are some I couldn't follow because I could not find that little button to do so, so I apologize to those who have followed me and I have not followed back! I COULDN'T FIND THE BUTTON!

What else? Hmmm....If I remember I will come back and edit this post and add it!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend and wish you all well with happiness, love and good health!

AnnJ

An opinion about beliefs!

Beliefs! 

What are they to you?
I feel we must see it, to believe it...

Today I was going through some other sites and blogs based around their religion. One got me thinking, I clicked a link, I wont give away the site name or the link within it's page, but it was a link within that site labeled about, "Beliefs".. I seen this and was compelled to click. I "assumed" it was going to be an explanation on their beliefs. However ..It was not. It was just verses in the bible. It made me want to ask them, if they had 'experienced these "beliefs" within the bible?'.

I'm not an Atheist or anything, but I do understand where some of them come from in not believing stuff like what our history has written about God, and the Devil, and the bible stories, and stuff. HOWEVER, I believe in God because, I HAVE experienced things. What I can't seem to understand is how, people can preach without experiencing, what they are preaching about..You know, you do need experience with things that you're talking and preaching about, in order to explain it correctly; from a personal view, in my opinion.

I never talked about love, nor did I write anything about knowing about it, when I was younger. Because I didn't know anything about it. I'd give advice on what I would do if this, bf did whatever to me (got dumped, put down, etc)...as advice to a friend, but you know, I really hadn't a clue what I was talking about because I had never felt that kind of love before. Matter of fact I never experienced a real bf before at that time either. Not anything as serious as they had than. The most I had done was hug a boy. Luckily my friends didn't really listen so much, because I didn't know what I was talking about, knowing I didn't have experience to say anything on the subject.

So when I explain things now I either give an opinion, with a statement that I never experienced it before so take it with that in mind. Or I state my experience and why I feel the way I do about the advice and or opinion given with my blog postings.

Sorry I just had to ramble a little bit.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Slacking off with my blogs lately, so here is an update!

I know I have been slacking off a bit with my blogs lately! Sorry for that!

Life has been keeping me quite busy and so has my mind. There have been some deep issues within my mind lately, concerning love (as you can probably tell) as well as being a mom.

My son has aspergers syndrome, so some days he can be a complete angel one day and a bit out of control the next. It can be quite exhausting at times, I have to admit. But I am also learning as I go...just to act like everything is fine, so he thinks his actions aren't bothering me. He knows how to push my buttons, that's for sure. But I am learning how to ignore those traits.

On to other things, I just wrote for my GED today! I am wishing for the best, and looking ahead positively, so that when I do get it...I'm on my way to bigger and better goals I have set for myself. I am writing more, because, I really am enjoying the writing I have been doing lately. Looking at my past writings, I do see much improvement. That is starting to give me more confidence and the future sure looks rewarding as well as promising!

I like to help others in ways, that I feel I can. So "This blogs for you!" hehe

Seriously though, I would like for others to post some feed back! 

What would you like to see me give my opinions about?
What type of advice do you feel you need right now in life?
Do you feel like you are trapped and life is getting harder by the day?
Are you sick of where life is right now and you just want a change for the better, so badly you feel desperate for that change?

Speaking from experience, I have had these feelings before. I did things to get passed those feelings. They can also come back once in a while to trigger that emotion, of having to do something to get out of that feeling!

There are many ways; that we all can conquer those demons fighting us within. The torturers of our beings.
You can do it, and you are NOT ALONE!

Everyone's story might be different, our backgrounds different, and even our actions and reactions are different! But we all have similar "feelings" those moments give us!

I'm not pin pointing anyone here, I'm sharing my advice.
I know how it feels to feel like your digging your own grave and it just keeps getting deeper.
I know how it feels to have lost everything!
I know how it feels to feel desperate for change, because of feeling so unhappy.
I know how it feels to not know where to turn!
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken so much by so many people you trusted and loved!
I know how lots of things feel!

Don't be afraid to share what you're going through! I don't care if you use your own name or an alias!

Different forms of love...

I'd like to share my thoughts and feelings about the different forms of love.

There is a love, that is created from our parents and their parents. This love is created from the ground up(so to speak). A love for you as a parent, to your own children etc.

There is a love that is created out of a friendship. This love is created with similar interests and time spent together doing things of the like.

There is a love of time. This love is created over time and getting to know someone. This isn't necessarily a long lasting bond, but it can always be a friendship. If both sides can be civil. This could be an ex or even a family member.

Than there is that love, with someone you feel is always there no matter where they are, be it many miles, or on the other side of the train tacks, it can be a shared connection. This love is a connection of two people(A soul-mate or twin flame as some may call it), that can not be described, explained or shared until it is experienced. You can not teach it, you can not give it, unless it is in you to. It is a love, like no other. It is the kind of love, that can never be replaced...I have to admit here, I did not believe in such a love existed, until I experienced it myself. :(

Now I know this is not a very long posting, but it has been on my mind.

I hope you have enjoyed this little read, as it is, "Short but sweet".
Have a great weekend ahead and many kind thoughts goes out to all!

Ann

PS- I hope all you moms out there had a wonderful Mothers day!

Hello and I hope Your week has been great so far! UPDATE

Hello everyone!
I just wanted to come here today to share an idea I have been wondering about. I am looking for others opinions or even a short little share of views on this idea!
What's the idea?
I'd like to start an advice column! Now I know I don't have any PHD's or anything, but I do feel I have great advice some days and as you can see, I share it! It doesn't always just stop there, when it is personally involved though! It is also a thing of advice and why I feel, how I feel, etc. I love helping people in this way, advice is free, you just have to send a message or comment (I will put a form in later on) I might create a different blog for it, but I do not think it would be necessary, since this is an advice blog anyways.

I'd like to know what you all think and I would love some advice, opinions, and your views on this idea I have been having. :-)

Of course, sometimes you will see a personal blog post, from time to time! But I'd really like to help you with your problems, if I can.

I welcome you to ask, comment or just say a few words of encouragement! Ask and or tell me anything and I will do my best to response in a respectful manner, without judgement towards you...I also don't mind if you use a fake name, or send a message as anonymous! This is an advice column after all, SO NO NAMES are needed.

Self-help Some personal advice with a bit of experience to back it up.

“Self – Help”

This is written FOR YOU! Not for me!

Ask for help! 

I have found, even when you ask yourself for help, it will come. In one way or another! “You’ll be helping Yourself. Only You can make the difference and the choices to better yourself and your future!”

“Self-Help”
Keys:
#1- Be yourself!
#2- Believe in yourself!
#3- Turn negatives into positives- Example: Always look to the brighter side of  “Every situation”! When something bad happens, think about “Worse things could have happened”!
Be grateful that it wasn’t worse! This is a very important thing to keep in mind when we go through hard times! It helps to make things brighter and less of a tragedy than it was or is!
You always have to have as positive to go with the negatives!

More examples:
-Your car broke down…At least you didn’t get into an accident!
-You broke your pencil…No big deal, you have more pencils! Don’t get angry, just chuck it and grab a new pencil!
These are just examples remember, the point is to just “find a positive to a negative situation!”

#4- You always know who loves you, they are the ones who do not judge you. No matter what you’ve done! They are the ones who are there when you need it most! Even if they are not there physically even, the point is that they were and are there! ALWAYS! No matter what!

#5- Relax and keep the above statement in mind when you feel depressed! Always relax for this thought process! We all must take a moment for ourselves to relax and get calmed down so that our minds can think more clearly and not get carried away in the moment!

In order to make it anywhere in life, and be happy…we must Think of ourselves, try our best not to feel guilty. Because if we let others make us feel guilty, how does that help us? It doesn’t! I know this one all too well, I have seen me give to others when I just couldn’t afford it to give, just because I felt guilty because they seemed to not have as much as me. It is about what they need from us, but this isn’t in every situation that someone needs. Some make up a need and put on an act, in order to just, simply get what they want! But if we can not afford or give it, we know we shouldn’t? For, the help we did, might have been a good deed, now we need because we helped someone else.

I know that might sound selfish, but when does it come to our attention that we need too? Listen to that inner voice when the need for ourselves is important, when the situation arises!

Write down your goals and stick to them, if anyone knows this "I do". I have seen me set so many goals for myself, only to get distracted by others and seem to let those self made goals pass on by! Carry them with you if you have to, keep them in a wallet or purse or even a coat pocket…a pants pocket even!

We all know life gets crazy at times, but we also know that there is always a way around negative situations! Take a few breaths, go for a walk, lay down and read a “positive” empowering book! There are MANY out there…

Go to support groups, make new friends, meet new people. Say hello when you walk passed strangers on your walks…say “Good Morning!” Even when you’re shy, you’d be surprised at the amount of people who do this even if you don’t! I have done this many times on my walks, I have had people simply walking by say “Hi”, or “Good Morning”  I’ve even had them comment on the weather and the type of day it was out. And you know what? I didn’t know any of those people, they were just out walking, just like me!

Walking is a great form of MEDITATION! Yes, meditation…just going for a walk.
So if you’re feeling stressed by life in general, or a relationship that wasn’t what you thought it should be…Go for a walk, read a powerful inspiring book, learn some yoga!

Do something! It helps! Trust me, I know from experience!
I want to thank you right now for making it this far in reading my blog post! I wrote it for You! I hope it lifts your spirits and makes today and the rest of your life feel easier to cope, when you’re going through a rough time…And always know…You’re loved!
Ann J

An update on what I have been up to lately!

Hello everyone, I know I have been away for a while, but I am not really away I am just compiling some thing together in order to post them here for others. I am trying to get the things and the wording just right, in order to help others.

Baring with this in mind, I want to thank you all for your patience and understanding! I hope to have things ready to be posted later tonight.

I hope everyone is have a great week end and that their week went well.
Much love to all
Ann

Edit: Please go here to view one of my newest helpful posts!

Relationships...A personal look.

I have been looking at my personal experiences lately, on relationship woes. Now I don't say woes because it's been many relationships and they all were bad. No! I am saying, I have a hard time being open in them, and also that I had a long unhappy relationship that taught me many things. No I haven't had many to be honest, and no I haven't experienced many sexual relationships. I did however learn a great deal about people and their ways.

I like to put myself.."in a sense" in other peoples shoes, in order to try to see things from many angles, of life in general in, order to best understand others better. And this is why I don't like to judge others. I do however state things that may sound like I am judging them, but please put this thought out of your mind as I am just showing different facts and points of view. It might seem like mind reading in a way. But by all means, please only see it as observation and knowing how to read between the lines.

Now on to the issues and facts at hand. I want all to know this isn't me putting anyone down...It's just showing what I know intuitively and stating them textually for all to see.

#1- I have huge trust issues! HUGE! The further info, comes to play on my WHY's I do have such huge trust issues...and this is just from a non-family relationship view.

#2- I tend to sense that they want to change me, this causes me to feel a bit standoff-ish and a little resentful to that person or myself.
Let me go a bit into detail with this one with some personal experience, without names involved and just simply "experience".

I was seeing someone for a short time, things were okay. I am always shy, and keep myself emotionally at a distance for my own protection! Gradually we got to know a little bit about each other, with me as usual keeping what is needed to myself...Yet at the same time letting myself show.

My problem..They would compliment me all the time, which was very annoying to me, as well as showing me they might have only one thing in mind.. It's something I don't expect and not something I like. Sure I like compliments, but after a while of holding myself back...These compliments only seemed like a way of them trying to smooth talk their way into getting what they wanted from me. You see I hold out. I don't have sex with anyone, and I am holding off until I know the person wants me for me.

The many compliments also came with, "you should do your make-up", and "you should put streaks in your hair", or "you should..whatever." .."Change yourself to please me" is what I hear after these ....See what I mean now? Huge problem! I wont change for anyone!

They also commented on how "this body part is so much different from this ex or that ex...*STOP SIGN* ..I'm thinking "WHAT?" .."No you didn't!" ...So you see another HUGE PROBLEM there.

#3- Sex...I have to be there in order to want it, I am not like other females. I hold off until I know they want me for me. Sure I played, I kissed. That is as far as I go, I wont put out if you state very clearly with all your compliments that it really isn't "me" you want, it is actually just what my body can pleasurably offer you. NO THANKS!

Am I too judgmental on that? Whether you say yes or no, wont matter either way, BECAUSE...I don't feel I am.

They play video games ALL THE TIME! I hate games, I don't play games, furthermore...I don't like feeling like I should feel like competition to a silly game system. I experienced that already with my son's father, I don't need it from someone I don't really care that much for. I liked them, but I never loved them, they told me they loved me..Yet I called them at work ONCE and they sounded irritated. And they called me from their work many times, Yet when I wasn't there to answer the call...ONCE, they sounded irritated. That to me indicates Possessiveness! I have been there, done that before...Not going to need to experience that again! Lived it, learned it...Next!

#4- I wait for no man who seems to show any of these signs stated above! If someone shows me (whether they know, they are or not!) that they want to change me, make me one of their possessions, and or a pleasure tool, I wont be sticking around to have it accomplished like some dumb-a** girl who is lonely probably would. I don't get lonely in that sense, I don't need a man to fill some void of loneliness...As I stated above I am VERY DIFFERENT! 

I only change for myself. I will never change for anyone as I don't feel anyone else should. We can only be ourselves and change for ourselves. I love constructive criticism, but I will not be criticized in an insulting manner!

#5- Testing their feelings towards me...I am so bad for this! You see I am so bad for this one, and since I am female, I have to admit, I can be a tease sometimes. But I only tease in order to learn more. I don't do it to hold someone, I don't do it for some hidden motives..unless you see it as such lol because I am sure you probably could judging on how it seems. I pretended like I wanted to change them and that they shouldn't or should do this to make me happy.

But I really do not want to change anyone, I just test them to see their reaction. If I like or love someone, them being themselves is all I want! If they have bad habits I will suggest maybe changing that part of themselves, for themselves...but not for me...We can only change for ourselves, so depending on the situation, stating something should change is a simple suggestion and or a critical judgement or wanting them to change for me.

I wouldn't put out, and after being in the relationship kind of thing. After some playing around. I told them to get "protection"...They seemed excited...You know I had planned on breaking it off before this point came to it's face. But I stuck it out, just to test my instincts and prove them right.

They didn't have money when I suggested getting protection, furthermore they asked me in a funny tone if I was serious about them buying some. ...Not if I was serious about putting out...Serious about the fact that they had wear protection. ..So another sign shows it's ugly face, you following me yet? On another note I'd like to add when I had stated my feelings on these things, this person acted as if I didn't know what I was talking about...hence showing another sign that I was right in my gut feelings.

All signs are right there in the open, I was asked out purely for my looks, not for who I was as a person. But for what I had as a female. If you're a teen reading this right now, please if you do not want to get hurt...Hold out for the right guy...Most guys will show most if not all of these "player" signs. And just because they would be willing to be with you a long time and for a long term relationship, doesn't mean these types of guys wont cheat and try it on the nest girl or your best friend(maybe that's another topic for the future).. They pretend to be all shy...Yet you see them act differently, towards others, you know, they know.

There were violent moments of jealously shown as well, that I OBSERVED. But I wont post them here. As this is just for others "to learn that to observe is to also absorb" and learn from!

Being in love with and thinking of someone else didn't help the situation either!!!
_____________________________________________________________________________
I wanted to share these experiences, in hopes that other people having these things happen and see them for what they are can learn from my advice and explanation of how a person can behave and how you should see the signs before it's too late to get away!

I am all for helping anyone get out of a dangerous situation if I can help it!
Now don't get me wrong, I know there are great men out there, I just felt the need to state some facts because of people in my life not seeing the full picture for what it is...I wont settle and I wont be with someone to please someone else.

Taking our own advice!!

I just wanted to share a bit of information about my thoughts on advice! I have been told many times, that I am very wise for my age and that I usually give great advice...I like to think so, but I also know that I am not always so good at taking my own advice. Isn't it funny we are all like that I think, we are always good at giving speeches and advice, but tend to not follow such great advice ourselves.

Don't get me wrong here, I know we can be very good at taking our own advice, but there are times when people tell us, "Practice what you preach!" ...I am sure you have heard that phrase, I have heard it, have had it said to me and I have said it to others over the years.

For years I have given my opinion (aka advice), and have had some people actually take it in consideration and have had even some of them actually go with it and do great for themselves! I have been called a life saver, an old soul and I have also been called intelligent! I must admit, they can be ego boosters, but I like to tell people to try to be in charge of that ego before if gets away with ya!

I'd like to talk about the ego for a moment...

Ego is great, BUT it's also dangerous...What I mean is that, our ego gives us confidence, but with too much confidence...Yes I said too much confidence, there is such a thing believe me! People with too much confidence can get themselves into loads of trouble! 

Look at Criminals... some of them get away with so much and don't even care about the consequences...Some of them don't even have a conscious I don't think. I am not insulting the criminals, I am just stating that I think they listen to their ego too much(too much confidence) and get into trouble.

I have noticed if my ego get too big I get smart, yet do dumb things and that is what I mean about ego. People can compliment us too much and make our ego's expand like a balloon and in doing so we end up not seeing beyond that big balloon others so kindly filled up for us.

That's about all I have to say today, at least I actually was feeling up to the posting, I like that!

About advice!...

Lately I have been a bit down, maybe it's because spring has sprung, but winter keeps peeking in on us and throwing some snow and hail or whatever cold that just must come...It's depressing, it's spring and I love Spring! I do love all the seasons in their own way, but I also get tired of them if they have worn out their welcome..mainly winter of course ;)

So I guess I am blogging because I wanted to say, lately I haven't been feeling very opinionated enough to post! I don't feel those advice juices flowing, like I did when I first created this blog.

I am working on sites and keeping busy with that, as mentioned before!

I have another blog I have been working on as well...And a private one for personal ranting lol...And that's all been keeping me quite busy. It's been taking most, if not all, of my me time...Which I don't mind so much, because it is a nice distraction from having the winter blues vs the spring time embrace, mixed all into one. It's like a roller-coaster of seasonal war or something at times...One day it is beautiful spring and the next day could be the same or freezing cold and getting sick with pneumonia, watching a snow storm. I am sure the birds must be utterly confused.

I've just been lost for words when it comes to writing an advice blog lately...I apologize for the lack of postings that could have been existent!

On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful week!
Blessings to all and have a great night!

Personal advice to self!

I do not like pity! Pity is for those who seek your attention in a negative way. 
People who crave pity:
Those who seek yours or anyone Else's pity, only do so for personal gains! Sometimes they realize it and do it on purpose and some do it without realizing it, but also do this on purpose.
What I mean is, they were brought up in a way that crying for what they want always worked for them. This is a negative way to gain anything at all. Because those who do this do not realize those who actually were good to them and take those people for granted and just keep using them. But Like I said sometimes they realize it and sometimes they do not. The ones who do not realize it, are the ones who were brought up this way and in so they do it instinctively over time.
But those who do realize this will seek those who they can take advantage of! They seek those who are very kind and will offer kindness freely without any complaints. But know fully that a few of these kind people know that they are taken advantage of and will put an end to it and you will lose this kind hearted persons trust, you will lose their relationship and in turn you will only have those who do not have the common sense to see it and leave those who take advantage of them behind
This is all learned from personal experience, both my parents had this fault, I was also born with this fault..Yes I call it a fault because there are a lot of people who like to take advantage of those who are very kind hearted. The key though is to walk away from those who make you feel bad.
Personally I have enough self pity I do not seek others pity to add to my own. It is negative, I do not want negative, so here is a quote I send out to people out there reading this and I hope they learn something from it and have eyes open to those who seek to take advantage.

"I do not seek pity, I seek only opinions and or advice. For those who know of pity will not give it, they will only give guiding words for you to choose to use or put in the back of your mind!" AMJ

People who really care for you will not put you down when you are already feeling down about yourself. They will not tell you of their problems when you are down, so to make you feel sorry for them instead. Everyone has issues or problems. I have listened to others tell me of their problems at times when I should have been worrying about my own! I found it okay, but only to an extent. Because I felt they wanted me to pity them when I had known I or someone else was going through much worse than them. Their problem at the time seemed only minor maybe even unimportant or irrelevant!

I have had people tell me that they had no food in their house, telling everyone they had no food, yet when I went to their home with them because they wanted to retrieve a coat or book or whatever, we had gone to the kitchen to retrieve the item and come to find out they had more food in their house than I had in mine, or more than someone Else's that I knew of at the time.
I am sorry if this touches on someone, but seriously, I am not going to feel sorry for someone who has food and claims to not; when I know there are people down the street or in other countries, that have none.
People need to realize, just because there is not much food that you "want" to eat in the cabinets or fridge, does not mean you do not have any food! These kinds of people make me label them as ungrateful liars! I do not like to label anyone, because I do not want to be labeled myself, but these kinds of people piss me off!
I know what it is like to have no food! So when you tell me you do not have any food and than we go to your house and I can visibly see it with my own eyes that you do have food. I am going to get silent and quietly pissed about the lie that was told just to gain pity from others! Why do people seek pity in such ways is what I always ask!
WHY? If you know, please do feel free to send me a comment!

"Seek not pity, no matter how hard things in life can be! Seek only advise when you know full well you have enough pity on yourself to not need it from others!" AMJ

You see, even when I was completely broke I worried what would happen next, I never told anyone, I felt bad enough about myself on my own! I know what it is like to do without, I also know what it is like to be stolen from when the things that were stolen were the only thing I had that was worth something. People who steal from others who do not have much, are people who need to know what it is like for themselves in order to know how you feel! I appreciate everything I own, I appreciate the things I learned in the long run!

I hope someone has learned something from this or have had their eyes opened to similar things in their own life. Have a great day and feel free to send me a comment or any questions or suggestions you might have for a new post! I look forward to any feedback!
But Please do not send your negativity my way as it will be deleted, ignored blocked or maybe even reported! :-)