Sometimes for peace of mind...

Sometimes for our own peace of mind, we must let go of old negative things. Be it friends, family members or even running back to old loves, we sometimes need to do it!

I know sometimes goodbyes are very painful, but we need to know that sometimes the others involved just don't care enough to even notice you've even walked away from the relationship.

Recently I have been thinking about an old school friend I use to be very close to, well I considered us close but they have done so much in the past to hurt the trust, that I don't even think that our friendship was for real, I was stolen from, I've be refused when I asked if I could stay with them a few days when I wanted to leave the relationship I had been in for a long time, being very unhappy.

They had said no, yet, when given the same opportunity, I did not shut them out. I actually invited them to stay until they found their own place. And again I was stolen from when they did leave, and later found out they were talking bad about me to their friends, which they had talked about them to me badly as well. Not one thank you! Is there really that many people like that in this world?

I've had family members talk badly of me, after being there for them, treated as if I was ungrateful for the things they had done for me, but when I was there for them, not one thank you.

I've had others come and go, people abandon me when my father passed. Treated like crap two days after he passed when I called another friend.

Yet, they all treat me as if I am the bad guy...and all those times I forgave, still encouraged them, still spoke empowering and positive words to help their confidence.

I've been called so many names, of which I am not any of those names except the B word. But to me, being a B is what I must do, in order to show I wont take their S.

So in order to keep a positive peace in my mind, I do things for myself, in order to keep me going, even though I sometimes come across some real A-holes who like to talk behind my back and insult me. Invite me places only to not call, and this just makes me think they just did it in order to laugh.

So I keep to myself and still try my best to keep others feeling good about themselves, complimenting their work, offering to help others, when I can.

So now, here I am a bit sad, trying my best to pick my moods back up to where they should be. I'm sad because I'm saying goodbye to a friendship, that meant something to me, but they have just showed me all along it has meant nothing to them.

I have felt and feel used, taken advantage of, unloved, unappreciated...

I'm sorry this message isn't very positive right now, but somethings a person must get things off their chests in order to feel more at ease and give themselves a little bit of peace at mind moments of true clarity. Which sometimes you can't really talk to those people, because they just get silent and I have the knowledge of knowing them well enough to be blaming me for their a-hole moments. Because they can't handle the fact that I know. Some unable to handle the truth.

I guess this is enough reading for you all tonight.

I've had worse things happen to me in the past so losing a friendship that means nothing to the other end is quite okay.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced these things and I'd like to apologize for any wounds I might have opened for anyone.

Be well and always be positive, sometimes we need those negatives though...in order to see those positives hiding below the surface.

Ann

Slacking off with my blogs lately, so here is an update!

I know I have been slacking off a bit with my blogs lately! Sorry for that!

Life has been keeping me quite busy and so has my mind. There have been some deep issues within my mind lately, concerning love (as you can probably tell) as well as being a mom.

My son has aspergers syndrome, so some days he can be a complete angel one day and a bit out of control the next. It can be quite exhausting at times, I have to admit. But I am also learning as I go...just to act like everything is fine, so he thinks his actions aren't bothering me. He knows how to push my buttons, that's for sure. But I am learning how to ignore those traits.

On to other things, I just wrote for my GED today! I am wishing for the best, and looking ahead positively, so that when I do get it...I'm on my way to bigger and better goals I have set for myself. I am writing more, because, I really am enjoying the writing I have been doing lately. Looking at my past writings, I do see much improvement. That is starting to give me more confidence and the future sure looks rewarding as well as promising!

I like to help others in ways, that I feel I can. So "This blogs for you!" hehe

Seriously though, I would like for others to post some feed back! 

What would you like to see me give my opinions about?
What type of advice do you feel you need right now in life?
Do you feel like you are trapped and life is getting harder by the day?
Are you sick of where life is right now and you just want a change for the better, so badly you feel desperate for that change?

Speaking from experience, I have had these feelings before. I did things to get passed those feelings. They can also come back once in a while to trigger that emotion, of having to do something to get out of that feeling!

There are many ways; that we all can conquer those demons fighting us within. The torturers of our beings.
You can do it, and you are NOT ALONE!

Everyone's story might be different, our backgrounds different, and even our actions and reactions are different! But we all have similar "feelings" those moments give us!

I'm not pin pointing anyone here, I'm sharing my advice.
I know how it feels to feel like your digging your own grave and it just keeps getting deeper.
I know how it feels to have lost everything!
I know how it feels to feel desperate for change, because of feeling so unhappy.
I know how it feels to not know where to turn!
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken so much by so many people you trusted and loved!
I know how lots of things feel!

Don't be afraid to share what you're going through! I don't care if you use your own name or an alias!