Slacking off with my blogs lately, so here is an update!

I know I have been slacking off a bit with my blogs lately! Sorry for that!

Life has been keeping me quite busy and so has my mind. There have been some deep issues within my mind lately, concerning love (as you can probably tell) as well as being a mom.

My son has aspergers syndrome, so some days he can be a complete angel one day and a bit out of control the next. It can be quite exhausting at times, I have to admit. But I am also learning as I go...just to act like everything is fine, so he thinks his actions aren't bothering me. He knows how to push my buttons, that's for sure. But I am learning how to ignore those traits.

On to other things, I just wrote for my GED today! I am wishing for the best, and looking ahead positively, so that when I do get it...I'm on my way to bigger and better goals I have set for myself. I am writing more, because, I really am enjoying the writing I have been doing lately. Looking at my past writings, I do see much improvement. That is starting to give me more confidence and the future sure looks rewarding as well as promising!

I like to help others in ways, that I feel I can. So "This blogs for you!" hehe

Seriously though, I would like for others to post some feed back! 

What would you like to see me give my opinions about?
What type of advice do you feel you need right now in life?
Do you feel like you are trapped and life is getting harder by the day?
Are you sick of where life is right now and you just want a change for the better, so badly you feel desperate for that change?

Speaking from experience, I have had these feelings before. I did things to get passed those feelings. They can also come back once in a while to trigger that emotion, of having to do something to get out of that feeling!

There are many ways; that we all can conquer those demons fighting us within. The torturers of our beings.
You can do it, and you are NOT ALONE!

Everyone's story might be different, our backgrounds different, and even our actions and reactions are different! But we all have similar "feelings" those moments give us!

I'm not pin pointing anyone here, I'm sharing my advice.
I know how it feels to feel like your digging your own grave and it just keeps getting deeper.
I know how it feels to have lost everything!
I know how it feels to feel desperate for change, because of feeling so unhappy.
I know how it feels to not know where to turn!
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken so much by so many people you trusted and loved!
I know how lots of things feel!

Don't be afraid to share what you're going through! I don't care if you use your own name or an alias!

What do you think of this quote?

I just found this...wow! Leave a comment and tell me what you think!

July 24 2009-*Ann M Jackson*

Do you take a chance and get to know someone...without judgement?

"Those who judge a book by it's cover will only know liars, those who give people a chance to get to know them... know that some people are nervous and not themselves at first! So judge thy book by it's contents and get to know them within, for the cover may look nice or bad at first but you only know what's in side by taking the time to look within!"

Denial...Just some thoughts

Please do not correct me if I am wrong here, as these are just personal thoughts and or analogies!

I have been thinking of those I have known to have gone through denial. Now I know I have gone through it, and I know others who are still going through it.

Happiness

I figured something out about myself last night.
I seem selfish to others, but really..I am afraid of happiness! This may sound strange, "How can anyone be afraid of happiness?" ..But truthfully, a lot of people who have come and gone in my life. Well they did nice things for me and I was grateful, maybe even happy about it! Which is great, but some, well actually a lot of of them, okay lets face it, most of them..Only seemed to do it so that they could say they did to prove they are a good person and to say I was ungrateful later-on because they did something for me, but an argument later-on it would get thrown in my face, or I was used in some way afterwards.

I am not sure if anyone would have experienced this or can relate. But it has happened so much that when someone else does something nice for me now, I end up questioning why later. Because it had happened so much, I am always thinking there is now an interior motive why they were good or nice to me in some way, whether they gave me something or were just nice. I always question it now! How can I be happy if someone does something for me and means only to be caring when I feel something is behind the reason they did it?

This is why I can't be with anyone, no friends, no mate. No one except my child and my mother when she wants to visit. And I hope she doesn't hesitate, I have missed her since she left. How can I be happy? It is my biggest challenge, how do I know who I can trust with all this knowledge? I am afraid to trust anyone anymore, even myself I can't even make myself happy and if I can't how could anyone else? I would never make anyone happy because I will have a hard time being happy myself just to try my best to make them happy?

I just don't know anymore! Has anyone felt like this before? I am having a sad, sad day.
PS-How do you get happiness back in your life; if it feels like others, just want to steal it away as soon as it arrives?