Sometimes for our own peace of mind, we must let go of old negative things. Be it friends, family members or even running back to old loves, we sometimes need to do it!
I know sometimes goodbyes are very painful, but we need to know that sometimes the others involved just don't care enough to even notice you've even walked away from the relationship.
Recently I have been thinking about an old school friend I use to be very close to, well I considered us close but they have done so much in the past to hurt the trust, that I don't even think that our friendship was for real, I was stolen from, I've be refused when I asked if I could stay with them a few days when I wanted to leave the relationship I had been in for a long time, being very unhappy.
They had said no, yet, when given the same opportunity, I did not shut them out. I actually invited them to stay until they found their own place. And again I was stolen from when they did leave, and later found out they were talking bad about me to their friends, which they had talked about them to me badly as well. Not one thank you! Is there really that many people like that in this world?
I've had family members talk badly of me, after being there for them, treated as if I was ungrateful for the things they had done for me, but when I was there for them, not one thank you.
I've had others come and go, people abandon me when my father passed. Treated like crap two days after he passed when I called another friend.
Yet, they all treat me as if I am the bad guy...and all those times I forgave, still encouraged them, still spoke empowering and positive words to help their confidence.
I've been called so many names, of which I am not any of those names except the B word. But to me, being a B is what I must do, in order to show I wont take their S.
So in order to keep a positive peace in my mind, I do things for myself, in order to keep me going, even though I sometimes come across some real A-holes who like to talk behind my back and insult me. Invite me places only to not call, and this just makes me think they just did it in order to laugh.
So I keep to myself and still try my best to keep others feeling good about themselves, complimenting their work, offering to help others, when I can.
So now, here I am a bit sad, trying my best to pick my moods back up to where they should be. I'm sad because I'm saying goodbye to a friendship, that meant something to me, but they have just showed me all along it has meant nothing to them.
I have felt and feel used, taken advantage of, unloved, unappreciated...
I'm sorry this message isn't very positive right now, but somethings a person must get things off their chests in order to feel more at ease and give themselves a little bit of peace at mind moments of true clarity. Which sometimes you can't really talk to those people, because they just get silent and I have the knowledge of knowing them well enough to be blaming me for their a-hole moments. Because they can't handle the fact that I know. Some unable to handle the truth.
I guess this is enough reading for you all tonight.
I've had worse things happen to me in the past so losing a friendship that means nothing to the other end is quite okay.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced these things and I'd like to apologize for any wounds I might have opened for anyone.
Be well and always be positive, sometimes we need those negatives though...in order to see those positives hiding below the surface.
Ann
