6 years is a very long time to be a single mother,
I think I am ready for love, possibly even; a best friend and a lover,
I want something ever lasting, compassionate, encouraging and kind,
I don't want a simple on again, off again; lover who will only ,keep playing with my mind,
I want someone who does their best to be stable,
I want someone reliable, intelligent and strong,
Someone who has a confidence, with small insecurities hidden underneath,
Someone who will talk to me, because they can tell I am feeling sad,
Someone who will listen, at those times when I'm feeling bad,
Someone who can see my pain, but corressess it with their heart,
Not someone who picks at it as if it were a freshly dried up scab,
I have scars on the outside, but also those hidden from within,
Things I dare not tell anyone,
I want someone who will hear with their heart; my secrets, but not use them to harm me,
I don't care how successfully they are in wealth, that is not the plan, nor the goal,
Their success is their goal, not my goal in a love,
I don't want someone who brags about their riches,
I don't want someone who brags about some kind of fame,
I just want someone to be themselves, so I can learn for myself,
I want someone who shows me love, and doesn't have to say it everyday,
And most importantly, I want them to be patient, with me, my moods, but most of all my child as being a part of me!
Have a great night everyone, I know it's been a while, but I have been going through some things physically, emotionally and spiritually. And I've waited to post something special.
~)Ann(~
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Relationships!
I've learned that you should NEVER force yourself to be with anyone you don't want to be with!
Some will try to force you to be in a relationship, with guilt trips.
Some will try to blackmail you into staying and try to trap you.
Threats are made at times too. Even death threats, those are the kinds you MUST get away from!
Some hate change so they try to make you stay, some just don't want to be alone. That's not love! That's overly selfish.
Some accuse you of cheating, when you haven't been with anyone, haven't even seen anyone for that matter, aside from work or family. Don't let their SELFISH words make you stay!!!!
Yes you may feel bad about hurting them and their feelings, but you need to realize, you also have feelings! If you settle or stay where you feel you don't want to be, you suffer more then they do. Or you both suffer, these are parts of those hard choices which have to be made(in life), no questions asked, answered or doubts set aside.
Sometimes they will say they trust you, yet you can see in their actions that they don't, you can read in their words and or questions asked, that they don't. Don't ignore your own inner voice, when you feel they are not being honest, when they show differently then what they say!
Don't let their friends try to change your mind into staying either. Others will try to make you feel guilty for them as well, even if those people don't even know it.
Is your unhappiness, less important then their fear of being alone or not giving them their way? Sometimes it's just that you said no that makes them want you to stay. Some people need to stop acting spoiled and take no for an answer. NO MEANS NO.
Even worse, if you do end up choosing to stay, you could end up hating yourself and being overly depressed, suicidal, or even cheating, because you're not happy, but forced to stay....where you don't want to be.
I had to break up with someone by writing them a letter because my voice wasn't being heard for the past couple weeks of stating 'it wasn't working' and I 'didn't want to be in any relationship.'
I told them in the letter, it wasn't working, I didn't want to be with anyone. I told them I wasn't happy, that it was obvious everyday. It was obvious I wasn't trusted, that I my words about leaving verbally wasn't getting through, that we weren't meant to be. That I wasn't in love, and it was obvious they didn't love me either. I didn't need them and they didn't need me! It said 'don't call and 'don't come to my house'. There was a bit more explanation and stuff, enough information stating why and such and such about not being in a relationship, etc.
They called(I didn't answer) and did come to my door. At which point I stated, it had only been 2 or 3 minutes of them reading the first bit. Obviously not enough time to have read the whole thing. Which stated to not do those things.
I knew from a previous relationship, I wasn't settling for what didn't make me feel happy, I felt alone in someone's company. I was myself and they tried to change me. They got angry when I touched anything they owned, just looking. I left, I said why I left and why I wouldn't be in that situation again. I was set up with them, It's their mess to clean, not mine. . I thought I was giving someone a chance. Which wasn't easy at all for me, I had learned enough and left and OTHERS NEED TO LET IT BE AND LET IT REST IN THE PAST. It's been over for years.
I felt mocked, treated like a dumba**, talked about behind my back, bragged about to their friends, complained about to their friends, I did a lot of shit for them, because I'm that kind of person and they complained about what little they did for me(as if I had done nothing at all for them).
NO I NEVER WANT THAT PERSON BACK, IT'S BEEN OVER SINCE THE DATE I STATED IT WAS OVER. THERE WAS NO AFTERWARDS.
My point here is DON'T stay no matter what they say or do. And most importantly, pay attention and use your common sense.
Some will try to force you to be in a relationship, with guilt trips.
Some will try to blackmail you into staying and try to trap you.
Threats are made at times too. Even death threats, those are the kinds you MUST get away from!
Some hate change so they try to make you stay, some just don't want to be alone. That's not love! That's overly selfish.
Some accuse you of cheating, when you haven't been with anyone, haven't even seen anyone for that matter, aside from work or family. Don't let their SELFISH words make you stay!!!!
Yes you may feel bad about hurting them and their feelings, but you need to realize, you also have feelings! If you settle or stay where you feel you don't want to be, you suffer more then they do. Or you both suffer, these are parts of those hard choices which have to be made(in life), no questions asked, answered or doubts set aside.
Sometimes they will say they trust you, yet you can see in their actions that they don't, you can read in their words and or questions asked, that they don't. Don't ignore your own inner voice, when you feel they are not being honest, when they show differently then what they say!
Don't let their friends try to change your mind into staying either. Others will try to make you feel guilty for them as well, even if those people don't even know it.
Is your unhappiness, less important then their fear of being alone or not giving them their way? Sometimes it's just that you said no that makes them want you to stay. Some people need to stop acting spoiled and take no for an answer. NO MEANS NO.
Even worse, if you do end up choosing to stay, you could end up hating yourself and being overly depressed, suicidal, or even cheating, because you're not happy, but forced to stay....where you don't want to be.
I had to break up with someone by writing them a letter because my voice wasn't being heard for the past couple weeks of stating 'it wasn't working' and I 'didn't want to be in any relationship.'
I told them in the letter, it wasn't working, I didn't want to be with anyone. I told them I wasn't happy, that it was obvious everyday. It was obvious I wasn't trusted, that I my words about leaving verbally wasn't getting through, that we weren't meant to be. That I wasn't in love, and it was obvious they didn't love me either. I didn't need them and they didn't need me! It said 'don't call and 'don't come to my house'. There was a bit more explanation and stuff, enough information stating why and such and such about not being in a relationship, etc.
They called(I didn't answer) and did come to my door. At which point I stated, it had only been 2 or 3 minutes of them reading the first bit. Obviously not enough time to have read the whole thing. Which stated to not do those things.
I knew from a previous relationship, I wasn't settling for what didn't make me feel happy, I felt alone in someone's company. I was myself and they tried to change me. They got angry when I touched anything they owned, just looking. I left, I said why I left and why I wouldn't be in that situation again. I was set up with them, It's their mess to clean, not mine. . I thought I was giving someone a chance. Which wasn't easy at all for me, I had learned enough and left and OTHERS NEED TO LET IT BE AND LET IT REST IN THE PAST. It's been over for years.
I felt mocked, treated like a dumba**, talked about behind my back, bragged about to their friends, complained about to their friends, I did a lot of shit for them, because I'm that kind of person and they complained about what little they did for me(as if I had done nothing at all for them).
NO I NEVER WANT THAT PERSON BACK, IT'S BEEN OVER SINCE THE DATE I STATED IT WAS OVER. THERE WAS NO AFTERWARDS.
My point here is DON'T stay no matter what they say or do. And most importantly, pay attention and use your common sense.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Some loving and inspiring quotes!
Hello everyone, I hope you are all having a great weekend! Here are some quotes I wanted to share!
All of these are linked straight where they were viewed/found, for Copyright the images show a watermark and or link on the graphic itself.
Always strive to stay positive, welcome the negatives in order to make them into positives, a world must have negatives so that they can be dual to a positive.
Ann
Always strive to stay positive, welcome the negatives in order to make them into positives, a world must have negatives so that they can be dual to a positive.
Ann
Monday, August 5, 2013
Sometimes for peace of mind...
Sometimes for our own peace of mind, we must let go of old negative things. Be it friends, family members or even running back to old loves, we sometimes need to do it!
I know sometimes goodbyes are very painful, but we need to know that sometimes the others involved just don't care enough to even notice you've even walked away from the relationship.
Recently I have been thinking about an old school friend I use to be very close to, well I considered us close but they have done so much in the past to hurt the trust, that I don't even think that our friendship was for real, I was stolen from, I've be refused when I asked if I could stay with them a few days when I wanted to leave the relationship I had been in for a long time, being very unhappy.
They had said no, yet, when given the same opportunity, I did not shut them out. I actually invited them to stay until they found their own place. And again I was stolen from when they did leave, and later found out they were talking bad about me to their friends, which they had talked about them to me badly as well. Not one thank you! Is there really that many people like that in this world?
I've had family members talk badly of me, after being there for them, treated as if I was ungrateful for the things they had done for me, but when I was there for them, not one thank you.
I've had others come and go, people abandon me when my father passed. Treated like crap two days after he passed when I called another friend.
Yet, they all treat me as if I am the bad guy...and all those times I forgave, still encouraged them, still spoke empowering and positive words to help their confidence.
I've been called so many names, of which I am not any of those names except the B word. But to me, being a B is what I must do, in order to show I wont take their S.
So in order to keep a positive peace in my mind, I do things for myself, in order to keep me going, even though I sometimes come across some real A-holes who like to talk behind my back and insult me. Invite me places only to not call, and this just makes me think they just did it in order to laugh.
So I keep to myself and still try my best to keep others feeling good about themselves, complimenting their work, offering to help others, when I can.
So now, here I am a bit sad, trying my best to pick my moods back up to where they should be. I'm sad because I'm saying goodbye to a friendship, that meant something to me, but they have just showed me all along it has meant nothing to them.
I have felt and feel used, taken advantage of, unloved, unappreciated...
I'm sorry this message isn't very positive right now, but somethings a person must get things off their chests in order to feel more at ease and give themselves a little bit of peace at mind moments of true clarity. Which sometimes you can't really talk to those people, because they just get silent and I have the knowledge of knowing them well enough to be blaming me for their a-hole moments. Because they can't handle the fact that I know. Some unable to handle the truth.
I guess this is enough reading for you all tonight.
I've had worse things happen to me in the past so losing a friendship that means nothing to the other end is quite okay.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced these things and I'd like to apologize for any wounds I might have opened for anyone.
Be well and always be positive, sometimes we need those negatives though...in order to see those positives hiding below the surface.
Ann
I know sometimes goodbyes are very painful, but we need to know that sometimes the others involved just don't care enough to even notice you've even walked away from the relationship.
Recently I have been thinking about an old school friend I use to be very close to, well I considered us close but they have done so much in the past to hurt the trust, that I don't even think that our friendship was for real, I was stolen from, I've be refused when I asked if I could stay with them a few days when I wanted to leave the relationship I had been in for a long time, being very unhappy.
They had said no, yet, when given the same opportunity, I did not shut them out. I actually invited them to stay until they found their own place. And again I was stolen from when they did leave, and later found out they were talking bad about me to their friends, which they had talked about them to me badly as well. Not one thank you! Is there really that many people like that in this world?
I've had family members talk badly of me, after being there for them, treated as if I was ungrateful for the things they had done for me, but when I was there for them, not one thank you.
I've had others come and go, people abandon me when my father passed. Treated like crap two days after he passed when I called another friend.
Yet, they all treat me as if I am the bad guy...and all those times I forgave, still encouraged them, still spoke empowering and positive words to help their confidence.
I've been called so many names, of which I am not any of those names except the B word. But to me, being a B is what I must do, in order to show I wont take their S.
So in order to keep a positive peace in my mind, I do things for myself, in order to keep me going, even though I sometimes come across some real A-holes who like to talk behind my back and insult me. Invite me places only to not call, and this just makes me think they just did it in order to laugh.
So I keep to myself and still try my best to keep others feeling good about themselves, complimenting their work, offering to help others, when I can.
So now, here I am a bit sad, trying my best to pick my moods back up to where they should be. I'm sad because I'm saying goodbye to a friendship, that meant something to me, but they have just showed me all along it has meant nothing to them.
I have felt and feel used, taken advantage of, unloved, unappreciated...
I'm sorry this message isn't very positive right now, but somethings a person must get things off their chests in order to feel more at ease and give themselves a little bit of peace at mind moments of true clarity. Which sometimes you can't really talk to those people, because they just get silent and I have the knowledge of knowing them well enough to be blaming me for their a-hole moments. Because they can't handle the fact that I know. Some unable to handle the truth.
I guess this is enough reading for you all tonight.
I've had worse things happen to me in the past so losing a friendship that means nothing to the other end is quite okay.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced these things and I'd like to apologize for any wounds I might have opened for anyone.
Be well and always be positive, sometimes we need those negatives though...in order to see those positives hiding below the surface.
Ann
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Something about books and how they can relate to people, in a sense!
This is a long read, and I hope you take the time to read it, I put a lot of thought and feeling here!
I have been laying in bed for a little while now, and I got to thinking!
"People are kind of like books!"
We are judged on our appearances, no matter what our contents might be, we have chapters in our lives, with each having a new beginning with each year gone by, some years are interconnected, and some are far different than that of the next.
What I am trying to get at is, we can see an enchanting book upon a shelf and want it so bad, just because it's cover catches our eyes and we feel the need to reach out and grab it!
But then again there are these books, with chapter names that can be quite appealing as well. BUT after we buy that book, it seems to have an awesome cover, wonderful thought out chapter names (Life achievements we'll say) and we get home, sit and start reading...Not so bad!
However after a few chapters those names are just names..
Okay, I'll just cut to the chase here...Some chapters can get down right nasty and grotesque!
Okay here is my example, but in PERSON form, instead of book explanation form!
Say there is a man....OR woman, and they have high achievements in life, good grades all through school, goes to college, gets out, finds a great job she loves with a passion...BUT half way through life and those wonderful passionately well put togetherness years of life, something happens and they have a downfall, a "spiral to rock bottom" chapter that pops in there...and than life gets really really crappy!
That's the awesome enchanting covered book with great chapter names I was talking about... Don't get me wrong, I know it doesn't always happen!
And then we have those "meh" books, they look okay, a little rough around the edges, and the contents are a bit interesting, I may want to read it!!
For this book, say it's a man...OR a woman! They suck at school are poor and kind of living life from rock bottom, most of their days, always hungry, always hoping they will get something of value to feel they have something to appreciate and treasure for a change. Trying very hard to never take anything for granted, and being always thankful for what they have, because they know that at anytime of day or given moment they know it can be gone in a flash. Maybe they quit school, because they didn't get good grades at all, settled for everything that was there if needed. Always grateful, but also a bit bittered by heartache from loved ones.
Something happens, life gets a little better, but worry, it lingers always in the back of their heads. For this person, they know how quick things can change and how fast things can be taken away or vanish and be gone. They pick themselves up, dust off the discouraging words in their head and push on a head and do what they never thought they'd ever do, and beat their own odds of thinking they might lose. And end up at the top, while still appreciating each day, each possession they own as a treasure, each person who hasn't walked away or given up on them along the hard journey it had been to get where they were.
That is the book I want! The book that shows the struggle, as I know it can be, life isn't easy for everyone, we all have chapters, we all have pages we wish we could tear out! But you know what? Not everyone is the same and we all have our own chapters, in which shouldn't be judged! Anything could happen while living each chapter.
And a star can rise and fall, but leaves can slowly drift to the ground, yet be gently swept up to a tree branch again. Life can have ups and downs, but some know how to live with it and others don't, because they have not experienced it before...Sometimes the one who was always at the bottom, finds it easier to put things back together again, and the one who is new to it, finds it life threatening, not knowing what to do...and those moments, they show you what life is all about and who really cares....AND WHO WE ARE! We learn so much about ourselves at those times, those hard times, are trying and learning curves in life! Yes we hate those moments, but later in life we learned, we LIVED, it showed us WHO WE ARE, not to everyone, but to us! Learning who you are to yourself, it's not easy, but it's worth getting to know yourself...It helps to live a bit happier knowing, you're your own friend, when you have yourself you can't be alone! ;)
I love reading!
I always read the information description that usually is on the inside cover or the back of the book before getting a book. Books that show an experienced knowledge throughout (I mean school and life knowledge) are usually the best books on the shelf! I left the parts about love out for a reason because sometimes love can be the cause of the downfall or the cause of the uprising.
I hope everyone has a great year this year and that it is filled with love, good health, happiness and peace!
Ann
I have been laying in bed for a little while now, and I got to thinking!
"People are kind of like books!"
We are judged on our appearances, no matter what our contents might be, we have chapters in our lives, with each having a new beginning with each year gone by, some years are interconnected, and some are far different than that of the next.
What I am trying to get at is, we can see an enchanting book upon a shelf and want it so bad, just because it's cover catches our eyes and we feel the need to reach out and grab it!
But then again there are these books, with chapter names that can be quite appealing as well. BUT after we buy that book, it seems to have an awesome cover, wonderful thought out chapter names (Life achievements we'll say) and we get home, sit and start reading...Not so bad!
However after a few chapters those names are just names..
Okay, I'll just cut to the chase here...Some chapters can get down right nasty and grotesque!
Okay here is my example, but in PERSON form, instead of book explanation form!
Say there is a man....OR woman, and they have high achievements in life, good grades all through school, goes to college, gets out, finds a great job she loves with a passion...BUT half way through life and those wonderful passionately well put togetherness years of life, something happens and they have a downfall, a "spiral to rock bottom" chapter that pops in there...and than life gets really really crappy!
That's the awesome enchanting covered book with great chapter names I was talking about... Don't get me wrong, I know it doesn't always happen!
And then we have those "meh" books, they look okay, a little rough around the edges, and the contents are a bit interesting, I may want to read it!!
For this book, say it's a man...OR a woman! They suck at school are poor and kind of living life from rock bottom, most of their days, always hungry, always hoping they will get something of value to feel they have something to appreciate and treasure for a change. Trying very hard to never take anything for granted, and being always thankful for what they have, because they know that at anytime of day or given moment they know it can be gone in a flash. Maybe they quit school, because they didn't get good grades at all, settled for everything that was there if needed. Always grateful, but also a bit bittered by heartache from loved ones.
Something happens, life gets a little better, but worry, it lingers always in the back of their heads. For this person, they know how quick things can change and how fast things can be taken away or vanish and be gone. They pick themselves up, dust off the discouraging words in their head and push on a head and do what they never thought they'd ever do, and beat their own odds of thinking they might lose. And end up at the top, while still appreciating each day, each possession they own as a treasure, each person who hasn't walked away or given up on them along the hard journey it had been to get where they were.
That is the book I want! The book that shows the struggle, as I know it can be, life isn't easy for everyone, we all have chapters, we all have pages we wish we could tear out! But you know what? Not everyone is the same and we all have our own chapters, in which shouldn't be judged! Anything could happen while living each chapter.
And a star can rise and fall, but leaves can slowly drift to the ground, yet be gently swept up to a tree branch again. Life can have ups and downs, but some know how to live with it and others don't, because they have not experienced it before...Sometimes the one who was always at the bottom, finds it easier to put things back together again, and the one who is new to it, finds it life threatening, not knowing what to do...and those moments, they show you what life is all about and who really cares....AND WHO WE ARE! We learn so much about ourselves at those times, those hard times, are trying and learning curves in life! Yes we hate those moments, but later in life we learned, we LIVED, it showed us WHO WE ARE, not to everyone, but to us! Learning who you are to yourself, it's not easy, but it's worth getting to know yourself...It helps to live a bit happier knowing, you're your own friend, when you have yourself you can't be alone! ;)
I love reading!
I always read the information description that usually is on the inside cover or the back of the book before getting a book. Books that show an experienced knowledge throughout (I mean school and life knowledge) are usually the best books on the shelf! I left the parts about love out for a reason because sometimes love can be the cause of the downfall or the cause of the uprising.
I hope everyone has a great year this year and that it is filled with love, good health, happiness and peace!
Ann
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)