Saturdays sadness...Sorry being dramatic today.

Hello all,
I'm just going to vent today, sorry I'm seeming like a drama queen here.
I've been hurt in the past, sexually abused as a child(By family members no less), bullied at school as well by family members.
But I forgave, it's not easy to forget. I've put people out of my life, and I have stuck up for myself when I knew no one else would. I have spoke my mind to show I wouldn't back down to their hurt and lies.

But you know, it's not easy "pretending" like it doesn't hurt me. I may throw back words to defend myself, but it doesn't mean I'm not hurt...It's a defense mechanism, that has been strengthened over time.

In time, I only wish for my life to stay getting better and for happiness to find me safe and sound.
Blessings everyone.

AnnJ

Sometimes we need to let go...

Sometimes we have people in our lives that we love very much. Even those who are family can be harmful to our health. And no matter how much we love them, if they keep on hurting us in different ways, we have to let them go there ways and we have to go ours.

I am choosing this topic, because I know how it feels to be hurt by those I love very dearly. For some of them, do not realize how much has been done for them and given to them out of the kindness of ones heart. Some of us would give the shirt off of our own backs, just so they do not stay cold, even when we are cold. I'm the kind of person, if someone does this for me...I am grateful and feel a little guilty knowing they are cold, but would do this for me to make me warm(I have had this done to me). I have done this for people I love, and was given ungrateful hurt feelings instead.  And than called selfish after saying no because I I didn't have it to give.

This is why I let some people go, I still love them, and miss them, but because I care for myself as well...I keep them at a distance, sadly I do not talk to or associate myself with these people anymore. I have given to others when I didn't have it to give, because I cared. And to have them not care back, or give me something, or help me in some way, for them to treat me as if I am the one who is ungrateful. 

Having those kinds of people who use you, manipulate you and offer kindness just to use it as a means to throw in your face, is just grief and sorrow to ones heart. It's heartbreak to have people you love "Build on to happiness, just to stomp on it afterwards." ...Why build something if you are going to destroy it? That is what sandcastles are for. 

"I refuse, to be used...anymore!"

There are so many things in history, that are still standing today, because of people's appreciation for them. Feelings should be treated this way, not as sandcastles, that will be destroyed by crashing waves or big feet.

Why must some people fight, to get along? I never quite understood that. I dislike fighting, and if I can avoid it, I do. I always stand up for what I believe in, so don't get me wrong, I just mean, I don't like unnecessary arguments, that only escalate to hurt feelings which end up with feelings of regret because words are spoken that we really did not mean...or who knows, maybe "they" mean them.?...

So much in life gets carried away, from fighting, from wars, from jealousy because they think someone's better than them or having more, or whatever. WHY? Why worry about those small things, when those small things create such huge destruction and or pain? It's exhausting, it's painful, it's even devastating and even sometimes lives are taken. There is just so much grief at times that we must TRY OUR BEST, to see things from a brighter side of things, where some of us open our eyes and actually have to force ourselves to be optimistic in order to cope, live and be happy. In order for our lives to get better and change because we are just tired of those ways.

I wish others would open their eyes and actually see that their life isn't as bad as it use to be and see that it is better and happier, but they are stuck on thoughts of yesterdays...

Sorry if this seems a bit off, but there are times I must share things in order for others to look ahead and to look up and see the brighter side of what IS THERE instead of seeing what was there!

Please put the past behind you, see NOW IS BETTER, and have peace and LET GO OF PAST GRIEVING'S! 

Love and beauty is in everything, and is everywhere, if you just let go of then and see now. Enjoy what is there and better these days, because the bad that was then is gone! 

Here are some motivational quotes...because I'm just feeling a bit unmotivated myself!

Hello everyone I am not feeling so motivated lately, so I thought I would make another quote post! Here are some great quotes I have found! Have a great day!

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.
Ayn Rand

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.

Ayn Rand

To achieve, you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that's real power.

Ayn Rand

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
William James

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.
Og Mandino

Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail.
John Donne

To all the fathers!!

Sorry I didn't write a father's day blog post today, I have been down all day!

I was always the daddy's girl, and he has been gone since 2009. I have been missing him more and more lately, as he use to be the only one I could talk to who didn't judge me on what I said.

When it comes to conversations, I am not always so good at expressing things. That's why I like writing and being online. But even at times if I am upset or in a rush to get my thoughts out..I do not think it through and that is when people can see what I mean by this.

Anyways I'd like to say Happy Father's day to all you dad's watching and Happy Father's day to all the moms out there that have to play both roles.